Forgiving does not change what happened, but it does change you. So really forgiveness is for you because by holding on to the pain of something that happened your energy is trapped and you will stay stuck in the story of what happened to you.
If you’re finding it difficult to forgive, here are some techniques that I have found to be helpful:
- Write a letter. You won’t be sending this letter, but it’s really helpful to write it. Write to the person(s) who have hurt you. Write down everything they did, how it affected you, and how it caused you pain. Get everything down on paper. When you’ve finished, destroy the letter. Burn it (safely), tear it up or shred it. You’ll be amazed at how this can create a huge positive energy shift in you.
- Write to yourself. Very often, the person you really need to forgive is yourself. So it can be helpful to write a letter to yourself or simply do a journaling exercise where you complete statements like these: “The thing I most need to forgive myself for is….” Or “I am now willing to forgive myself for…..”
- Try the Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness known as Ho’oponopono. Recite this simple prayer/mantra and notice how it shifts your energy:
“I love you. I am sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank you.”
Make the decision to allow forgiveness because it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” – Bernard Meltzer