I received a question from someone last week that reminded me of this, so I thought I’d make it the focus of this week’s tip. I’ve had this experience and I know many others have too.
For example, I’ve worked with people who moved into an apartment or home that was supposed to be temporary – that was 5 or 6 years ago. Also with people who took a job that they didn’t particularly want and don’t love, because they didn’t plan on being there very long. One person I know was in this situation for over 10 years.
What can you do when you really want to move on but you feel trapped?
From my experience people stay stuck where they are because they are resisting it. The key is to accept and make the most of where you are, while at the same time putting some energy towards where you want to be.
When someone moves into an apartment thinking it’s only going to be for about a year, usually they put things in storage, leave things in boxes, and don’t fully move into their space because it’s only supposed to be temporary.
Whenever I worked with someone in this position I encouraged them to unpack the boxes, hang pictures on the walls, and make it feel like home. This will actually help you move on faster than if you leave everything packed. It may seem counter-intuitive – why would you unpack everything if you don’t plan on being there long? But keeping everything packed keeps you in a holding pattern. You are not embracing where you are. You are resisting it and that can keep you stuck.
It’s the same in any other situation. If you have the attitude that you don’t want to be there and only want to move on to something else it’s likely you’ll be there longer than you planned. Instead, do your best to embrace the position and feel as good as you can there. You can still be thinking about, and putting energy into finding the thing that you REALLY want to do, but the energy behind it will be more of: “I accept that this is where I am now and I do my best to embrace it as I also put energy towards what I really want,” instead of “I don’t want to be here, I don’t like it, I want to move on as quickly as possible.”
The energy of acceptance and appreciation will move you forward faster than the energy of resistance and resentment.
Action Step: If there is a situation you want to move out of, but are finding it difficult think about how you could make the most of it and appreciate it now, while still putting some energy towards what you want. Think of it in the same way as “unpacking the boxes” and allowing yourself to feel good about where you are SO THAT you can move on to where you want to be.
Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:
I allow myself to feel good about where I am, and know that the better I feel, the more progress I will make. The better I feel, the better it gets.