We are driven daily by our emotions and they are an important influence on our physical health. When you learn how to manage your emotions, it helps you to lead healthier life. Most importantly, you can also use the difficult and painful emotions as stepping stones to propel you to greater levels of success.
What would it feel like to master your emotions so you know that no person or situation can take your power away. You can learn how to stop giving your power away to others.
For example, why is it that some people seem to get under your skin & you can’t stop thinking about what they said or what they did? Your encounter with them goes round and round in your mind - perhaps you even run through various conversations with them in your head. Even when you want to stop, you can’t. It’s like they’ve taken up residence inside your head and it can drive you crazy.
What if you had a way to take that situation and use it to gain new insights about yourself? You can learn to release whatever emotions have been stirred up and feel at peace with the outcome? No more conversations rolling round in your head. No more wishing you’d said this or that or wondering why this happened in the first place.
With practice you can learn to get your emotions under control quickly and move on much faster. Here are six steps that will help you do just that:
- Name it – you’ll want to identify what has been triggered in you by the person or situation. What is the dominant emotion? For example, is it anger, disappointment, frustration or something else? As Dr. Phil says, “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.”
- Vent – you’ll see that steps 2 and 3 are actually connected, but I like to list them as separate steps because I think it’s more effective that way. Once you’ve identified the emotion let yourself vent. It’s good to do this by writing it out, but you can also do it in your head. Think or write about exactly what happened and how you feel. We often believe that it’s not good to think ‘negative’ thoughts, and so when you feel a painful emotion you may think that you have to keep all your thoughts and feelings locked up and not let them out. Here, you have permission to let them out. When you keep them locked up, they will continue to affect you long after the situation has passed, so be as specific as you can.
- Feel it – as you’re thinking about how you feel or writing about it, really allow yourself to feel the emotion. Notice where you feel it most in your body. Again, this may be something you’ve been afraid to do in the past because you feel that this is giving in to the emotion and if you do so you won’t be able to let it go. The opposite is actually true. It’s only by allowing yourself to go through it that you can come out on the other side of it. So put your attention on the emotion and where you feel it. Notice everything you can about it.
- Be curious – ask yourself what this feeling/emotion is telling you. What has really been triggered? You may find that something from your past comes to mind. Or you might find that it’s a belief or fear that you had that you thought you’d already worked through. Don’t judge what comes to you as you ask this question, and don’t be harsh with yourself as you ask it. Ask with curiosity. There is always something to learn from any situation. You are experiencing it and feeling what you’re feeling for a reason. When you learn whatever you need from the situation, then you won’t need the situation any more. You’ll find it’s no longer an issue for you and you can move on.
- Move on – ask yourself - what is one thing I can do to move forward? What is the most loving thing I can do for myself in this situation? You might feel as though you have no idea what to do about your situation. You might feel that you are powerless. But you really do have the answers you need inside you. Once you work through and release the overwhelming emotions that you’re feeling, you allow clarity to come to you. It’s then that the answers you need can come – so ask the question, take care of yourself and allow the answers to come in whatever way they can. Perhaps you’ll think of an idea, or perhaps you’ll read, or hear or see something that points the way, or perhaps someone will come into your life who can help you.
- Raise your vibration - “Your vibration is a way of describing your overall state of being. Everything in the Universe is made up of energy vibrating at different frequencies. Even things that look solid are made of vibrational energy fields at the quantum level. This includes you.” (Cassandra Sturdy).
When your vibration is low, you will not feel good, you may feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, etc., and everything will seem difficult or impossible. The worse you feel, the lower your vibration and, since we attract things of the same vibration, you will continue to attract more things to feel stressed about.
So it’s important to raise your vibration, not only so you feel better, but also because doing so will bring you clarity, ideas, resources, and more things to feel good about.
Most simply, you will raise your vibration any time you do or think about something that makes you feel good. For example, you might think about a loved one, or a pet and that may immediately make you feel good. You could listen to some uplifting music or go for a walk in nature. You might take a relaxing hot bath, or go for a massage or receive energy work. Focusing on things that you appreciate and are grateful for also helps to raise your vibration.
These six steps will help you take any situation and any overpowering emotion. Instead of letting it take you over, you’ll be able to use it to empower yourself and feel stronger. By squarely facing the difficult emotion or situation, you take away its power and re-claim your own. Instead of avoiding it, you face it and move through it. Once you’ve moved through it, you can focus on ways to raise your vibration by finding things to feel good about.
This is how you successfully navigate through difficult and painful emotions and become Unstoppable.
P.S. I've created a short (10 minute) video that walks you through each of these 6-steps - what I call my Emotional Relief Technique. With practice, this is something you can use any time, anywhere, to help you move through any overwhelming emotion so it doesn't continue to affect you. If you'd like to access the video, just click on the button below.