Changing your thoughts – I’m sure you’ve heard that your thoughts create your reality and if you’re feeling stuck or you want things to change, it’s a good idea to focus on changing your thoughts.

Sometimes it doesn’t seem easy though, because we often think thoughts that hold us back, even when we don’t want to be thinking them – they just seem to show up.

People often feel that changing your thoughts means you have to force yourself to think positive thoughts, but that doesn’t work and can actually be counter-productive.

You can’t deny that you’re thinking the thoughts you are thinking and forcing yourself not to think them doesn’t work. Instead, you can use them, and learn from them, which then allows you to change them.

So if you’re trying to force yourself to think positively, try paying attention to the thoughts and ask yourself what you can learn from them. This is the first step to being able to change them.

This affirmation can help you get started:
“I am willing to release unhelpful thoughts and replace them with those that support me and help me be the best I can be.”

How to Line up the energy – Last week’s tip talked about taking the time to line up the energy, rather than trying to ‘make’ things happen. I received a request to talk about exactly HOW to line up the energy, so here are some thoughts:

1. Lining up the energy really means that you are in complete alignment with what you want to accomplish/attract. That means it feels really good to you and you know it’s the right thing for YOU (rather than you’re doing it for other people or because you think you should). So the first step is to make sure it feels good to you.
   
   
2. I think it’s better to focus on the experience you want, rather than the specific detail. What is the experience you will have when you accomplish this? How will things change? What will be different for you? When you get in touch with that and really feel how great it will be when you do/have this, you are lining up the energy.
   
   
3. Let go of the details. This is easier said than done, I know, but if you are attached to HOW this will happen, you can block it.
   
   
4. Release attachment to the outcome. When you’re used to making things happen this can be difficult. You want to be clear on what you want, but stop focusing only on the results and whether or not you have it yet. When you focus only on outcomes, then you give your power away. If you’re not seeing the right results yet, you can become despondent and unhappy. When you start to see some results then you feel happy. This means you can only be happy when you’re seeing the exact results that you want to see. This is giving your power away, and that is not being in alignment with what you want.

One of the best examples I like to share of this in action is someone I worked with who had been trying for years to save enough money to go to Italy for a few months. She never seemed to get close to the amount she thought she needed. Instead of focusing on saving a certain amount of money to be able to go to Italy, I asked her to focus on the experience she wanted to have.

So she stopped thinking about the money she did or didn’t have, and instead immersed herself in all things to do with Italy (lining up the energy).

The result was that she was offered a job teaching English in Italy. She not only achieved her dream to go and live there, but she was paid to go. This is what lining up the energy is about. If she had continued to focus on trying to save a certain amount of money to be able to go, she’d probably still be trying to save.

This affirmation can help:
“I am willing to take the time to line up the Energy. I am willing to allow everything I want to fall into place.”

Line up the energy – Today’s Unstoppable Energy Tip is short and sweet. I think this quote from Esther Hicks/Abraham says it all:

“Take the time to line up the Energy first, and action becomes inconsequential. If you don’t take the time to line up the Energy, if you don’t find the feeling place of what you’re looking for, not enough action in the world will make any difference.”

I would just like to point out that when it says “action becomes inconsequential,” I don’t believe that means you don’t do anything except sit on the couch and wait for things to happen. What it means is that you don’t have to figure out what to do. You will gradually gain clarity about what to do next and then you will take inspired action. Then things will seem to fall into place effortlessly. You automatically do the right things, rather than trying to figure it out.

This affirmation can help:
“I am willing to take the time to line up the Energy. I am willing to allow everything I want to fall into place.”

Be the master of your emotions – have you experienced a situation where one minute you felt fine, happy even, and the next minute something happens or somebody says something that leaves you feeling angry, frustrated, anxious or upset? Worse still, sometimes when this happens the painful feelings stay with you for days, weeks, even months or years. The longer it goes on the more intense the feelings become.

This is an example of your emotions being in control. You might think there’s nothing you can do about it, particularly if the reason you feel this way is somebody else’s fault. Or perhaps your solution is to stuff the feelings inside and try to carry on without letting them affect you. But they do affect you.

Unless you deal with what’s come up right away, it will continue to affect you, no matter how you try to move past it. I’m not talking about trying to achieve some kind of Zen state where nothing affects you, that’s not very realistic. What you can do is acknowledge what it is that you feel, identify it, and let it tell you something about yourself that you need to know.

When you do this, you will quickly move through the emotion to the breakthrough that’s waiting for you on the other side of it.

Every painful situation and emotion has something to teach you. When you are willing to embrace what you’re feeling and discover the lesson, you achieve emotional mastery.

Try this Unstoppable Affirmation:
I release the need or desire to give my power away by letting my emotions control me. I am now willing to master and learn from my emotions.

When you feel like giving up – the most helpful thing you can do is to stop and take a step back. Then, although it may feel as though there’s nothing you can do, try these steps:

• Allow yourself to really feel whatever emotions are coming up for you – even though it may feel uncomfortable or even painful. It’s important to acknowledge what you feel and allow it.
  
  
• Ask yourself what it is you need to learn from this situation so you can move on.
  
  
•  Have a contingency. Let’s say this doesn’t work out and it’s not where you’re supposed to be and it’s not what you’re supposed to be doing. What will you do or what can you do instead? It’s not necessarily the case that you’ll have to do it, but it’s important to consider other options.  
  
  
• Each day ask yourself “how can I channel my energy in the best way possible to achieve what I really want?” If you start the day with this question and have this as your intention, you’ll take the stress out of trying to ‘make’ things happen, and you’ll find yourself naturally doing the right things.

 

• Stop beating yourself up. Acknowledge that you are doing the best that you can do and that it’s enough.

When you take this approach you’ll be amazed at how things can open up for you. Things that seemed impossible before just start happening.

Even if you feel this is hopeless and it can’t possibly work – what have you got to lose by trying?

Try this unstoppable affirmation:
“I am willing to release all resistance to achieving what I want and I’m willing to let it come to me easily.”

When you need help – allow yourself to ask for it and receive it.

Do you feel it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help? Do you feel you should be able to manage everything yourself? Do you think people will judge you if you ask for help? Do you feel other people can’t do things as well as you? Do you think you’ll be a burden?

It can be difficult to ask for help for any of these reasons. You may also find you don’t ask for help because you don’t recognize that you need it. I used to think I had to do everything myself and really struggled with asking for help until I learned some important things that I’ll share with you:

People want to help – when someone told me that I was denying other people the opportunity to help me and that I was actually being quite selfish by not allowing them to, I was shocked. But I began to see the truth of it. I have since realized that people really do love to help and it feels good to me to give them that opportunity.

Nobody can guess what you need – sometimes we expect people to know that we could use some help and to know what it is that we need. We feel we shouldn’t have to ask – particularly when it comes to a partner or spouse, they should just know. Then we feel resentful if nobody offers and we have to do it ourselves. Don’t expect others to know. Particularly if you’re the one who is always helping others, and you never ask for help. People will just assume that you’re okay unless you let them know that you need help and tell them what you need.

There’s an arrogance to it – I hated hearing this, who wants to be considered arrogant? But if you think about it, it’s true. When you don’t allow others to help and you never ask for help, it’s like you’re saying “I’m stronger than everyone else, and I’m more capable than everyone else, I can handle it all.”

Asking is a sign of strength – rather than being a sign of weakness, asking for what you need is a sign of strength. If you are willing to be vulnerable and honest and say “I can’t manage this by myself,” that’s coming from a place of strength.

This affirmation can also help:
“I am willing to allow myself to receive all the help and support I need.”

Speaking of allowing yourself to receive help - if you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed or frustrated with where you're at right now, the Stuck to Unstoppable Master Class will get you moving forward. Learn more by clicking the button below:

 How to go from powerless to empowered – I have permission to share a client’s recent experience with you which demonstrates the process of going from stuck to unstoppable and shows you that it doesn’t have to be difficult or take a long time.

Jane was struggling with a project in her business. It was something she’d been working on for some time and she’d worked hard to make it successful. But it wasn’t working as well as she’d hoped. The harder she worked on it, the more frustrated she became until she felt like giving up. She felt powerless to change her situation.

We focused first on the emotion, because that’s the biggest clue to what’s going on. Jane said the biggest thing she felt was disappointment.

So we talked about her feeling of disappointment. Where was that coming from? What did it mean to her? What was the message here? What did she need to learn from this? Hint – it had nothing to do with the project itself, because her experience with the project had simply triggered something that was already there.

I knew when we’d connected with it because Jane began to cry. She told me how she had felt like a disappointment to her family when she was growing up, because she wasn’t like them, they thought she wasn’t as smart as her siblings, and she didn’t fit in to their expectations of and for her. Even though they now acknowledged her successes, the pain of feeling their disappointment in her as a child was still there.

As we dug a little deeper, we hit on the fact that she was deeply disappointed with herself because she wasn’t yet where she wanted to be in her life and she constantly felt she wasn’t good enough.

This was deep pain that she had carried since childhood. Now that we’d identified it and acknowledged it, she was able to let it go. Once she’d let it go she felt energized, and confident and had clarity about her next steps.

This all took about 15 minutes, and it’s the most important first step to reclaiming your power.

What are the next steps? I’ll be sharing them in my Stuck to Unstoppable Master Class on Thursday, April 5th, (just $27 to attend) and you’re invited.

This is how to go from feeling powerless to empowered – from stuck to unstoppable. Thank you Jane for allowing me to share your story.

If you can’t join the call live, everyone who is registered will receive a copy of the recording.

When you’re faced with a  choice – and you’re not sure what to do, you can develop analysis paralysis, which affects your ability to make a decision. This happens because you’re scared of doing the wrong thing, and of making the wrong choice.

If you’re in that situation, here are some suggestions that can help:

Recognize that there really is no ‘wrong’ decision. It’s simply that each choice can bring a different set of circumstances.

• Stop worrying about what might happen. We’re really good at making up stories about what could happen, but there’s no way you can know. You can do your research and be as prepared as you can, but there really is no way to know exactly what will happen.
  

• Do your research. The best you can do is to be as informed as you can about each of the choices and what they will lead to. You cannot know every possible scenario, but you can gather the information and facts that are available, and perhaps talk to others to learn about their experiences. Make a list of pros and cons of each choice if that is helpful for you.
  

• Visualize. I find it can help to visualize yourself saying yes to each of your choices. Close your eyes and imagine yourself doing whatever each choice would entail, then pay attention to your body (not your mind, but your body). What does each scenario feel like to you?  Often, this can give you clear information about the choice that is best for you.
  

• Embrace any fear. If you are afraid of making a choice or of making the wrong choice, take a really good look at the fear itself, and ask yourself “what am I really afraid of?” Usually, you’ll find that the answer that comes to you has nothing to do with the situation itself, but perhaps something that happened a long time ago. For example, perhaps your real fear is of looking foolish for making the wrong choice – this may relate back to something you did as a child where people made fun of you.
  

• Be at peace with your choice. Once you’ve made your choice, be at peace with it. Don’t second-guess yourself and wonder if you should have made a different choice. Embrace the choice that you have made, and feel good about it.
  

Try this affirmation: “I trust myself to make the choices that are best for me at the highest level.”

When you need emotional relief – sometimes uncomfortable emotions take over and it’s difficult to move beyond them. Here are some situations I’ve helped clients work through over the last few weeks, perhaps you can identify:

• Difficult conversations with a family member (or members) leave you feeling angry, frustrated, or even depressed because you just can’t make them understand your point of view or accept you as you are.

 

• A loved one, such as your spouse, partner or close friend has behaved in a way that hurt you and has made you question your trust of that person and/or has destroyed your confidence.
  

 

• Things are not going the way you want in your business or career and you find yourself experiencing doubt and frustration, and perhaps even anxiety about your financial situation.

 

• You’re feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Even though there are many good things happening in your life, it’s difficult for you to enjoy them because you’re constantly searching for something that is meaningful and will fulfill you.

Any time you’re experiencing intense painful emotions, whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety, fear, or something else, the emotion takes over your mind and your body and you can’t move forward until you move beyond it.

You may try to push the emotion away, stuff it down and carry on in the best way you can. But that doesn’t work for long because even though you may have learned to do that very well, the emotion doesn’t really go anywhere and it continues to affect you.

You experience these emotions for a reason. Feelings of discomfort are signals that your Emotional Guidance System is trying to tell you something. But how do you know what it’s trying to tell you?

I used to hear experts tell me all the time that “the answers are inside you,” but it seemed that nobody could tell me how to get them out. So I found my own way and condensed it down to a 6-step system that I can easily use for myself and that I use with my clients to quickly move through the emotion, feel better, and know what to do next.

You have to find a method that works for you to move beyond the emotion before you can make progress. EFT works very well for this (Emotional Freedom Technique), but after a while, I found that I went beyond that, so it wasn’t as effective. Apart from the fact that sometimes you’re in a situation where you need help but it's not convenient to do all the tapping that is required.

So I put together my own Emotional Relief Technique – it’s a 6-step process that, once you’ve done it a few times, you’ll find you can do quickly and easily anytime, anywhere, whenever you need it.

I put together a short video to show you how to do it. If it would be useful for you, click on the button below to access the video

This affirmation may also help:

“I give myself permission to confidently face and move through all uncomfortable emotions, knowing that the breakthrough I need is on the other side.”

How to forgive – Forgiveness is something that often seems difficult to do. It may feel as though by forgiving someone you are condoning or accepting bad behavior or injustice, or in some way giving in.

Forgiving does not change what happened, but it does change you. So really forgiveness is for you because by holding on to the pain of something that happened your energy is trapped and you will stay stuck in the story of what happened to you.

If you’re finding it difficult to forgive, here are some techniques that I have found to be helpful:

• Write a letter. You won’t be sending this letter, but it’s really helpful to write it. Write to the person(s) who have hurt you. Write down everything they did, how it affected you, and how it caused you pain. Get everything down on paper. When you’ve finished, destroy the letter. Burn it (safely), tear it up or shred it. You’ll be amazed at how this can create a huge positive energy shift in you.
  

• Write to yourself. Very often, the person you really need to forgive is yourself. So it can be helpful to write a letter to yourself or simply do a journaling exercise where you complete statements like these: “The thing I most need to forgive myself for is….” Or “I am now willing to forgive myself for…..”
  

• Try the Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness known as Ho’oponopono. Recite this simple prayer/mantra and notice how it shifts your energy:
  
  “I love you. I am sorry. Please Forgive Me. Thank you.”  
  

Make the decision to allow forgiveness because it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself.

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” – Bernard Meltzer