Connecting with Yourself… In our attempts to improve our life situations – relationships, career, health, finances, and so on, there is one thing that’s often overlooked, and that is self-connection.

The deeper your connection to yourself, the more meaning and fulfillment you experience in your life. Your relationships improve, and you gain greater clarity about all situations. Yet it’s something that is often overlooked. People often feel guilty and selfish if they focus in any way on themselves. Yet it is the opposite of selfish.

Also, for many people, the idea of a deeper connection with themselves is not appealing. They are afraid of what they will find if they look too deeply. If you feel this way it’s like to be because you are very identified with your thoughts.

As Eckhart Tolle says: “Thought can be so seductive and hypnotic that it absorbs your attention totally, so you become your thoughts.” He also says: “To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.”

When you are really connected with yourself you stop giving your power away to others. You realize that you have the ability to change things simply by paying attention to your thoughts and feelings and allowing yourself to go through them.

The more connected you are, the more self-compassion you have, and according to a recent psychology article I read “Research shows that self-compassion actually correlates to better results whether it be performing in a race, in a courtroom, or even feeling comfortable in our own selves.”

Connecting with yourself is a daily process. It means paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, being kind to yourself and letting go of judgments.

Action Step: One simple way to create a deeper self-connection is to think of a current situation you are experiencing that feels difficult or overwhelming. Identify exactly how you feel, allow yourself to feel it, and then ask yourself “what is it I need to learn from this situation so that I can move on?” Relax and allow the answer to come to you over time, and don’t get frustrated if it doesn’t come right away. This is a great start to a deeper self-connection.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I am willing to connect more deeply with myself and learn from every thought, emotion and experience.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

P.S. If you're ready for connect with yourself and come into conscious alignment with what you want consider joining the Conscious Alignment Mastermind. Click on the button below for information.

Allowing opportunities… Have you ever experienced a time where you try to do or resolve something or figure something out only to find that it seems impossible? So you let it go, perhaps in frustration, and then sometime later the ideal solution shows up or the situation naturally resolves itself?

That’s no accident. In fact it’s the letting go, or surrendering of the situation that allows the solution or new opportunity to come to you.

I’ve had several examples of this over the last year or so. Two in particular relate to some specific health challenges where I left no stone unturned in order to find the right solution, with no success. In one case I was told very specifically by more than one practitioner that there was nothing that could be done, it was just something I had to live with.

I don’t like to give up, but I now know the value of surrendering. Surrendering is not giving up, it’s more like letting go of the need to try and figure it out. In each case, after letting it go, sometime later I was inspired to think about it again and this time the perfect person was put in front of me with the solutions I needed, and it was so easy.

Sometimes I think we can be so attached to finding a solution, making a change or fixing something that we get in our own way. Letting go seems like giving up and so we stay with it thinking there must be something we’re missing. If we could only figure it out everything would be fine.

It’s holding onto it mentally that gets in the way and stops the right opportunity from showing up. Letting it go ultimately relieves stress and anxiety and brings a new clarity to your mind. Then you must pay attention to any impulse you feel to talk to someone or look in a certain place or read a certain book and follow where it leads you.

This is how you allow the opportunities you want to come to you, rather than you trying to chase them down. I used to pride myself on my ability to figure things out and find solutions. But what do you do when that doesn’t work anymore? You surrender, move onto something else and then you allow what you need to come to you.

I think it’s the simplicity of that that often puts us off, and that fact that letting go of the need to figure it out feels like giving up.

Action Step: Think of something you’ve been trying to figure out or change (perhaps it’s best to start with something small). Decide to let go of the need to find the solution. See if you can surrender it and move onto other things. See what happens!

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I release the need to figure this out or find an answer right now. I allow solutions and opportunities to find me.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

What did you learn? The end of the year is the perfect time to look back and reflect on what happened during the year and on your goals and intentions for the upcoming year. I’d like to add one thing to that – and that is to consider the question: what did you learn about yourself this year?

Every experience and interaction is an opportunity to learn something helpful about yourself – particularly the difficult ones. I think we’re constantly learning and growing (sometimes reluctantly perhaps). If you’ve had a challenging experience and you don’t want to repeat it, the important thing is to identify what that experience has taught you. When you understand the lesson, then you don’t need that type of experience any more.

That’s why I think it’s helpful to consider what you have learned throughout the year and think about how you can build on that in the future.

Action Step: Reflect on your year and ask yourself what you have learned about yourself from your experiences. How can you build on what you have learned so you can move forward, rather than staying stuck in the same patterns?

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

Every day I am learning, growing, evolving and expanding. I am focused on being the best I can be at all times.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

The little things… When you want something to change or improve, it’s usually something quite major – you might want to improve your finances, or your health, find a new house or perhaps you need a new car or you want a better job, for example.

So you focus on what you want, which is good, because you want to put energy towards it. What you might miss though is the fact that focusing exclusively on what you want is not the whole answer. In fact it could stop it from coming to you.

What we often forget is to acknowledge and consistently appreciate what we have now. I don’t just mean having an attitude of gratitude (which is important). I mean appreciating every little thing that we take for granted, because those little things are really incredibly significant and important.

For example, as I sat in bed this morning I could feel my heart beating, I am breathing, I can hear and see, I have both my legs and my arms. I have both of my feet. I can walk. I appreciated the peace and quiet of my neighborhood. The fact that I’m fortunate enough to work from my home and I don’t have to commute to work. I enjoyed a wonderful shower with hot water. My home is warm and comfortable. I have food to eat. These are things that are easy to take for granted because I experience them every day.

Are there things I want to improve? Absolutely. But if I focus exclusively on those things it’s so easy to miss the everyday miracles that I may take for granted.

I was reminded of this recently at the gym I go to where I saw a young woman with one leg doing squats, and a man in a wheelchair who was doing pullups.

Acknowledgement and appreciation of the everyday things, even the smallest things, and particularly the things you take for granted, helps you be present, and it helps to raise your vibration to the frequency where what you want can come.

It sounds so simple, and it is, but we often struggle to achieve and maintain this frequency because some part of us keeps pulling our thoughts back to what is lacking and what could be better. The challenge then is to watch out for this and to address those parts of us that keep us stuck in a lower vibration. This is the fear, the old conditioning and the part of us that thinks we’re not good enough.

Action Step: For the next week spend a couple of minutes every morning before you get out of bed acknowledging all that’s good about you, your body, your life and everything that you have. See if you can remember to do this throughout the day too. Whenever your mind wants to pull you back with thoughts of what you don’t have yet and what’s not good, try to identify where that’s coming from and gently choose to go back to thoughts that feel better. Observe any changes that happen as a result.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I now choose to raise my vibration by focusing my thoughts on everything that feels good and positive and I release all thoughts and beliefs that do not support me.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

When you undervalue yourself… Like many people, I undervalued myself for most of my life. It’s something I’ve worked on a lot and have been shocked to find not only how deeply this went, but also how it showed up for me every day in my life.

I think it’s something that affects a great many people. Even some of the people who appear to be the most confident, assertive, and maybe even aggressive, often act this way to cover up their real feelings of insecurity and low self-worth.

There are many ways that this can show up – here are few:

• Frequently doubting yourself
  
• Other people have the ability to upset you or diminish you in some way
• Experiencing feelings of guilt or shame and generally not good enough
• Holding yourself back because you’re afraid you’ll fail
• Finding yourself in a career you don’t enjoy
• Struggling financially
• Feeling anxious, shy or intimidated’
• Looking for people or situations to blame
• Feeling that life is unfair
• Over-achieving
• Taking on other people’s dramas or pain
• Needing people to like you
• Perfectionism

As you can see, there’s quite a list – and I could add more!

Comparing yourself to others is, perhaps one of the most common signs of under-valuing, and yet it’s probably something we all do from time to time.

If you are highly sensitive then this is most certainly something that you’ll want to address.

Undervaluing yourself and what you do causes others to undervalue you too. When you begin to really value yourself you will notice a shift in your relationships and experiences, and very importantly in how you feel. As with everything, the first step to change is awareness, the second is a willingness to change.

Action Step: Pay attention throughout the day, and the week, to any signs and signals of undervaluing – really any time you don’t feel good about yourself, or when you feel a need to prove yourself. Begin to build an awareness of how this shows up for you. Remember, awareness is the first step towards change.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I release the need or desire to undervalue myself in any way and I forgive myself for all the times I have felt undervalued in the past.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

P.S.
I believe this is such an important issue to address that affects many people, so I'm launching a program for those who are ready to stop undervaluing themselves. CLICK HERE to request information.

Challenges and opportunities…What do you do when things are not going the way you want? When you feel stuck because no matter what you do and how hard you try either nothing changes, or things seem to get even worse?

It’s tempting in this situation to think there must be something you’re missing. Some piece of knowledge you don’t have yet. Something you need to do that you haven’t done. If you just knew what it was then you’d do it and everything would be alright.

You may look around you and it appears that others don’t have the same challenges you have. Everything seems to be working out for them, so why doesn’t it work for you? The only conclusion you can come to is that there must be something wrong with you.

I have been in this situation. I have felt this way, and so have many of the people I’ve worked with. The answer is not what I expected it to be and it’s something that many people resist. The answer is not to do more or to learn more. The answer is not to ‘fix’ yourself because there’s something wrong with you. Here’s what I’ve found - when something in your outer circumstances (your life situation) no longer works and things seem to be falling apart, you are being invited to go inwards. This means it’s an opportunity to work through any old beliefs, conditioning and repeating patterns that don’t serve you.

We all have fears, beliefs, and conditioning that affect what we think, feel and do. Whether it’s feeling not good enough, fear of failing, of being unlovable, or whatever it is, there comes a time when you cannot continue to ignore them.

This idea is terrifying for many people. They would rather do anything else than this, and if that’s how you feel, I understand, however you’re missing a wonderful opportunity. When I realized these things were coming up so that I could transform them, let them go and move on it felt like such a relief. My approach now is that if there is something holding me back in any way, and I can do something about it and let it go, then that’s what I want to do. Now I don’t wait for these things to come up, I’m proactive about it and have made connecting with my inner self (with Being) my priority.

People often think “I can’t spend time connecting with my inner-self, I’ve got things I need to do and accomplish.” The irony is that if you don’t do the inner work, you can struggle to accomplish what you want, and if you do make it your priority you actually end up accomplishing much more and seeing better results in your life. Letting these things go and re-connecting with your TRUE self feels REALLY good.

When you take the approach of seeing any challenge as an opportunity to learn something about yourself and release something that’s not serving you then you will no longer be sidelined by problems. You will move through them and when you look back you’ll be amazed that you experienced a struggle at all.

This is not intended to minimize any major challenge you may be experiencing. It’s about those ongoing and repeated challenges, the ones that don’t seem to get any better or even get worse.

Action Step: Think of a particular challenge you’re experiencing and ask yourself “What is it that I need to learn about myself from this situation so I can move on?” Be open to the answer coming in different ways. Writing about it can help a lot. See if you can identify any fears, beliefs, expectations, or old patterns that are bubbling to the surface and be willing to let them go. Make inner connection your highest priority and you’ll be removing any of the obstacles that have left you feeling stuck.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I recognize this challenge is an opportunity for me to learn and grow and deepen my connection with my true self. I am open to receiving all the guidance I need so I can release and move on.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. Identifying what is holding you back and what you need to release can be difficult to do by yourself. If you need help identifying what exactly it is you need to let go of, contact me to schedule a complimentary 15-minute clarity session where together we'll get to the heart of what it is.

Enjoying Solitude… I saw a quote recently that is the inspiration for this week’s tip. The quote is:

“When you follow the crowd you lose yourself, but when you follow your soul you will lose the crowd. Eventually your soul tribe will appear, but do not fear the process of solitude.”

I think it follows on nicely from last week’s tip on ‘starting over.’ It’s so easy to lose yourself when you follow the crowd but I think we often do follow the crowd because we’re afraid of being on our own.

When you do begin to focus on what’s right for you (perhaps by starting over) you do lose the crowd and that can be scary for many people. It does take time but eventually the right people do begin to appear in your life, but you do have to be comfortable with being on your own first I think.

How do you feel about solitude? Often people feel really uncomfortable with it, or when they are alone they feel they have to keep busy and feel guilty if they are not doing something. I have come to enjoy it and look forward to it and no longer feel I have to be busy. I think becoming comfortable with solitude is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It’s a real gift and it really helps you connect with yourself and what’s right for you.

If you live alone or you do spend a lot of time by yourself, are you comfortable with that or do you resent it? Of course it is possible to go too far the other way (particularly for introverts) so that you resist being around people and become isolated. That’s not good either. I think it’s all about how connected you are with yourself and how comfortable you are with who you are.

Action Step: If you are not doing so already, set aside some time (perhaps each week) to be by yourself. Give yourself permission to do nothing, even if it’s just for 10 or 20 minutes. Notice how you feel. If it makes you feel anxious or guilty, explore why that might be.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you:

Spending time alone is a gift I give to myself. I am comfortable being alone with my thoughts.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Starting over… This week I’ve heard from a few people who are completely starting over. They have let go of everything and moved to a completely new place – one has even moved to a new country.

For some people the thought of starting over is terrifying. I’ve done it several times – living in 5 different countries and 3 different States within the U.S., and although it can create anxiety, it can also be a wonderful experience, if you approach it the right way.

There are many benefits to starting over – it’s just like hitting the reset button on your life. You have an opportunity to do things differently if you want. You meet new people and are able to let go of anything you didn’t like about your old life. You are able to see more clearly the things, situations, people and experiences you were holding onto that perhaps were not serving you.

You don’t have to move though to be able to start over.  You can do it any time you want.

Imagine that you are starting over – letting go of everything, moving somewhere new and far away. Now think about what you would want to do differently, where you would want to live, what kind of environment you’d like to be in. What kind of people you’d like to meet. What you’d like to do that you are not doing now.

Considering this can help to bring new clarity and inspire creative ideas and different ways of thinking. It can open you up to new possibilities. Once you know what you’d like to be different, begin to consider how you could bring about that change NOW, without having to move away.

Of course, if you love everything about your life just as it is, then you won’t want to change a thing – it’s always good to be aware of that too!

Action Step: Consider that in 6 months’ time you will be moving somewhere completely new. Take a notebook or journal and write about:

• Where you would like to go
• Where you would like to live
• What you’d like to be doing
• What you would want to take with you
• What you would leave behind
• How you’d like things to be different
• Why making these changes in your life would feel better

Once you have a clear picture you can take some action. Let go of those things you would leave behind, they are not important to you. Begin to let go of situations you’re currently in that don’t serve you. Ask yourself how you might bring about the other changes you identified you would like. Put energy into what life could look like for you if you were starting over.

If you find the idea of starting over terrifying, examine why that is. What are you really afraid of?

This exercise can bring some wonderful awareness to you. It’s up to you then what you do with that new awareness.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

Life supports me always and in all ways. I now choose to live my life in a way that brings me the greatest joy and fulfillment. I deserve the best.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. Starting over is a great opportunity to re-write all or part of your story. Join me and my co-host Lisa Powell as we discuss how to find the strength to re-write your story on an episode of our FB Live Show The Liberated HSP. Click on the button below to go to the video.

When to withdraw energy… Have you ever had one of those days when it seems as though nothing is going right? People seem to be irritated and unreasonable around you for no reason that you can figure out. The more you try to understand, explain or justify yourself the worse it gets?

I had one of those days recently. It started when I showed up for an appointment only to be told they had no record of it – even though I had called the day before to confirm.

I did what I needed to do to sort things (without getting upset) out and rescheduled for another date.

Throughout the day I was aware that some of the interactions I was having with people were a little off. Later in the day I was with a group of people and was bewildered by the fact that some of them just seemed to want to disagree or argue with anything I said or did. I couldn’t understand why and when I voiced this out loud one of the people I was with said “Well you’re a coach aren’t you? You should be able to handle it.” I confess that part of me wanted to take offense at his comment, but then I realized he was right.

There was only one thing I could do in a situation like this. I couldn’t change anyone else’s behavior and I couldn’t understand what was going on, but what I could do was manage my own energy. So I stopped talking. I didn’t do it in an angry or sulky way. I just withdrew my energy. I still participated in what was going on in the most positive way I could, but I kept my energy to myself.

Once I’d done that things calmed down and it ultimately turned out to be an enjoyable and positive evening.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply to withdraw your energy. Stop talking or trying to explain or get people to see your side of things. Stop thinking about it and trying to figure out what’s going on or why people are behaving the way they are. Just focus on yourself and doing whatever you need to do to feel good.

When you withdraw your energy you stop feeding the situation. Where there’s no fuel, it simply dies down or people have to go somewhere else to find the stimulation they need for whatever is going on with them.

Action Step: Is there a situation you’re experiencing – perhaps an ongoing argument with someone, or any situation that won’t seem to resolve no matter how hard you try? Consider withdrawing your energy. Stop trying to fix it or understand it, and just withdraw. You can still take any action that you need to take – you’re not giving up, but you stop trying to get people to see your perspective. See what changes as a result.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I take care of my energy in all situations and it’s okay to withdraw my energy from situations I don’t understand or that don’t feel good.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Understanding differences… Everybody wants to be understood, and I think if we do want to be understood we have to make the effort to also understand others who are different from us.

Take, for example, introverts and extroverts. Introverts are often overlooked by extroverts because they are quiet. The assumption is that they don’t have anything to offer. After all, if they’re not saying anything or participating in a conversation, this could be the logical conclusion.

There’s a quote by Stephen Hawking: “Quiet people have the loudest minds,” that I think sums up what’s going on for introverts. We may be quiet, but there is a LOT going on in our minds. We tend to think a lot, and think deeply. We listen, we process information. It’s rare that an introvert will simply say what’s on their mind, because there’s just so much going on in their mind.

Introverts find it difficult to interrupt, so if there’s a lot of talking going on, with no natural gap and they are not invited to speak, they may not say anything, or they may be drowned out if they do try to speak. I’ve had all of these experiences and it’s sometimes exhausting to try to get a point across with all the other conversation going on.

There can also be a sense, if you’re with a group of people and not saying anything that you may be judging the others in the group, or that you may somehow feel you’re better than them. When I discovered this it was a shock to me because I’m often quiet in groups, which doesn’t mean I’m not participating. I’m usually listening and absorbing what’s going on – the last thing I’m doing is judging others.

But introverts aren’t the only ones who can be misunderstood. I think often introverts see extroverts as being loud, with an inability to listen. They can also be thought of as being needy (needing frequent attention and validation). In their enthusiasm to get their point across their behavior may even be perceived as inconsiderate at best or bullying at worst.

Yet I know many extroverts who are very smart, caring and thoughtful people. I see their ability to communicate with others as a real gift. I admire anyone who can walk up to someone they don’t know and engage in conversation. They tend to be enthusiastic, motivated and usually have high energy. But they also need their downtime and alone time.

I think too the assumption that extroverts aren’t good listeners is not true. If they know you have something to say they will listen, but if you are quiet they will assume you don’t have anything to say.

This is just one example of how differences can be misinterpreted and misunderstood. All of us have something to offer, and wouldn’t it be helpful if we took a little more time to understand each other and embrace the gifts of each trait? And sometimes it’s up to us to do something if we’re feeling misunderstood, rather than simply complaining about it.

Introverts – don’t dismiss extroverts as loud and uncaring, and extroverts – don’t dismiss introverts as having nothing to offer.

Action Step: Think about a situation where you may be feeling misunderstood. What could you do to help change someone’s perception of you? If there’s someone you know who is very different from you and you find it hard to understand their behavior, what could you do in an effort to better understand them?

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I accept myself as I am, I accept others as they are and treat everyone with respect.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

P.S. Introverts - watch this short video with 3 strategies that will help you step up and be heard.