Do you have clutter because you feel overwhelmed? Or are you overwhelmed because you have clutter? Or is it a bit of both?

Clutter can easily sneak up on you and before you know it, it's become a problem.

On a recent Facebook Live chat, Clutter Clearing Coach, Conny Graf and I discussed the impact of clutter and overwhelm. You can watch it here.

We all feel some stress in our lives. Some people have more than others, and what’s stressful to one person may not feel stressful to someone else.

It’s unrealistic to believe that you should feel positive and happy 100% of the time and that nothing will make you feel stressed or anxious.

In fact, studies show that there are benefits to stress. It forces us to grow, to step outside our comfort zone and connect with each other for support.  

In fact, we can actually use stress to our advantage. I like to think of being able to use stressful situations as stepping stones to something better, to growth.

Instead of resisting stressful situations, and seeing them only as ‘bad,’ we can ask ourselves how we can turn them around and use them to our benefit.

It’s all about how you react or respond to a situation.

Here are some strategies for managing stress when it shows up for you. They will help you to feel in control, rather than feeling like a victim.

• Identify the source
  What, in particular, is causing you stress in this moment? Is it your job? Is it your boss? Is it your relationship with your spouse, children or a family member? Is it a health issue? The first step to changing anything is always clarity - become clear on exactly what you are feeling stressed about and why, because you can’t change it until you acknowledge it. Also, be aware that what you think is the problem is not always the problem!
  
  
• Stop fighting what is
  Stress is created when we resist what is happening. We say things like “this shouldn’t be happening to me,” or “this isn’t fair.” The reality is that it is happening. The sooner you acknowledge that fact, the sooner you will be able to change it. When you keep fighting something because it shouldn’t be happening or it isn’t fair, you will stay stuck in it much longer.
  
  
• Know what you can do now
  Your situation may not change overnight, but there is always at least one thing you can do right now. Perhaps that one thing is simply to get clear on what you want to happen. Or perhaps it’s to identify who can assist you and reach out to them for help. It may feel as though there’s nothing you can possibly do, but there is always something. Ask yourself – “what is one thing I can do right now that will help?”
  

• Monitor your thoughts and re-frame
  There’s a quote from author Eckhart Tolle that says: “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.”
  
  Your thoughts about what’s happening in your life create stress and can take you into a downward spiral of negativity. Be aware of what you are thinking and, as much as possible re-frame negative thoughts, turning them into something that feels better.
  
  It’s not always easy to change your thoughts – you can’t tell yourself everything is fine when it doesn’t feel fine and believe it. Here’s one way that I’ve found helpful. Say to yourself: “Even though….. is happening, I choose to find a positive solution,” or you can say “I choose to find a way to feel better about it.” Play around with this until you find something that works for you.
  
  
• Pay attention to repeating patterns
  If a situation continues to repeat itself, for example, you leave your job because of a difficult boss, only to find that in you next job you once again encounter a difficult boss or supervisor, then there is a message here for you. There’s a reason you keep having the same experiences over and over. Ask yourself what you need to learn from this situation so it doesn’t have to happen again.
  
  
• Take time out
  Sometimes you just need some time away mentally, emotionally and/or physically) from the stressful situation and/or person to gain some new perspective. Spend some time alone (even 5 or 10 minutes) in a different environment and you’ll find that your thinking and often the situation itself can shift.
  

• Know your stress tolerance level
  Since we all have stress in our lives, it is unrealistic to think there will never be stressful situations. However, each person reacts to stressors in different ways. Are you the kind of person who thrives on tight deadlines, who loves to constantly push yourself to learn and grow and move beyond your comfort zone? Or do you prefer a calmer, more relaxed state and a slower pace? There is no wrong answer, it’s all about knowing yourself and your limits. Don’t expect to be like anyone else – know what works for you.
  
  
• Release energy and frustration with physical activity
  When you feel tense and overwhelmed and you are finding it difficult to think positively, it’s amazing how much better you will feel when you engage in some physical activity. You can simply go for a walk, or take an exercise class, or even if you simply put on some music and dance around the room, it will significantly shift your energy. Focusing on your breathing (long, slow deep breaths in and out) is also another way to instantly calm your mind and body.
  
  
• Get the help you need
  Trying to do it all by yourself can be too stressful. You may have to swallow your pride to ask for help but it’s important to know that you don’t have to suffer alone. Find someone who understands what you’re going through. Allow them to help you. You can eliminate much of your stress right away simply by knowing someone is on your side who knows how to help you. Even just talking your problems through with someone is beneficial. When you say things out loud (rather than going over and over them in your mind), you will often find that solutions can present themselves naturally.
  
  
• Be honest about your options
  You always have choices. You may not like the choices you have, but you always have them. When you think that you don’t have any options then you feel powerless. When you identify the choices you do have (whether you like them or not) it helps you to realize that you are not powerless. There is always something you can do to move forward. Taking some action is the most important thing.

I think it’s important and helpful to be aware of and use techniques to help you calm your mind and body when one of these situations occurs. When your mind is calm, then you’ll be able to focus on solutions, outcomes and possible growth.

There are many techniques that are helpful. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Being in nature
• Exercising (preferably something you enjoy)
• Breathing exercises (such as: breathe in slowly for a count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4, repeat)
  
• Yoga
• Journaling (writing things out can be very therapeutic)
• Talking things through with a friend or colleague (sometimes just talking about it brings clarity)
• Take a hot shower or soak in the bath
• Give yourself (and the situation) space (walk away or focus on something else for a while)
• Essential oils
• Listening to calming or uplifting music

Find your own favorite techniques and use them regularly. You don’t have to wait for a stressful situation to arise. Using them on a daily basis will help you deal more effectively with stress when it arrives.

I hope you’re beginning to see that you can take control of stressful situations, and even use them to grow.

Remember that you may not be able to avoid stress, but you can develop healthier ways of responding to it, and learn how to use it to your advantage. Let these strategies help you.

One of the things that creates stress (and is also a symptom of stress) is clutter and disorganization. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy for your environment to become cluttered and disorganized, which leads you to feeling even more overwhelmed.

If this is your experience - or if you have trouble finding a system to manage and maintain a clutter-free and organized environment, you’ll want to check out this upcoming Masterclass: Secrets to Overcoming Clutter and Overwhelm.

Physician and author, Deepak Chopra says: “Everything that happens in the universe begins with intention. An intention is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the seed form of that which you aim to create.”

Everything you do has intention behind it, whether you’re aware of it or not. When you do become aware of this and then deliberately set an intention, you are able to channel your energy in the most positive and beneficial way possible.

In this article I’ll be sharing how you can use the power of intention every day to achieve what you want, and to make life flow more smoothly.

I think we often underestimate just how helpful and powerful intentions can be. As I was searching for a definition for intentions, I came across this one:

“An intention is a guiding principle for how you want to be, live, and show up in the world.”

How powerful is that?

When you take a few moments to set an intention before you start your day, at the beginning of  your week, at the beginning of the month or the year, or even at the start of a new project, the payoff can be huge.

But we also forget that we can set intentions for the ‘little’ things every day. For example, I think we all dread having to make calls to customer service or something similar. You’ve probably had the experience of being put on hold for hours and when you do reach someone they are not helpful at all.

What if you took a few moments to set this intention before you made the call? That you would easily reach the right person and that person would be courteous and helpful, and you would receive the answers you need?

Wouldn’t it be great if that worked?

It does work. Whenever I remember to set an intention in this way, this is exactly what happens. When I forget - well, that’s when the experience I have is not so positive.

I see setting intentions as creating a positive experience for myself. Think of it as setting yourself up to succeed, to have more positive experiences, and to feel good. Is there anybody who doesn’t want that?

Just in case you’re thinking that this may be some New Age mumbo jumbo, you might want to take a look at a book written in 2007 called The Intention Experiment which explored the science of intention, drawing on the findings of leading scientists around the world.

There has been much research into the science of intention and it turns out that it’s a way to train our brains and to channel our energy in the best possible way to create more positive experiences.

If you’re at all familiar with the Law of Attraction, then it makes perfect sense. The energy you put out (through your thoughts) determines what you attract back. When you set an intention to have a positive experience, you are more likely to have a positive experience.

Conversely, when your thoughts are focused on how difficult something might be or how frustrating, that’s more likely to be your experience.

There are a few things to keep in mind to help you be most successful with your intentions.

These are some of the things I’ve learned over the years that help to make intention setting incredibly powerful.

• Intention Setting vs Goal Setting
  

Sometimes people think of setting intentions as simply setting a goal – I’m going to accomplish a certain thing.

I don’t see intentions that way. I feel that setting an intention is different from setting a goal. A goal is a specific thing you want to accomplish, and I think of intentions more in terms of experiences.

For example, you might have a goal to lose a certain amount of weight, or make a certain amount of money, finish a specific project, or achieve a certain level of success in something that you’re doing.

I would see the intention as being more about the experience you want to have. Whereas the goal might be – I want to lose 30 lbs in the next year, an intention would be to make your health and well-being your top priority throughout the year so that you feel good about your body.

If you make health your priority, and you are feeling good about your body – then the specific number doesn’t matter so much.

You might set a goal of making $1,000 per month, whereas your intention might be to feel good about your finances and to have a good relationship with money. If you feel good about your finances and you feel like you have a good relationship with money then the exact dollar amount is not as important, because you’re feeling good. You’re having a good experience.

What I’ve observed is that when you focus on the intention and the experience in this way, you actually open yourself to more possibilities and less stress.

When you focus exclusively on the goal, on specific numbers or specific outcomes, it’s a lot more restrictive.

Think Experiences vs Outcomes
Focusing on your experience, and how you want to feel, rather than only on the specific outcome connects you with your ‘why’ - to the reason you want what you say you want.

So if you say you want $1,000 per month – why do you want it? If you dig deeply enough into your why, it may be because you’re struggling financially right now and you don’t feel good about your finances. If you’re struggling you don’t have a good relationship with money. You want to feel good about where you are financially, that’s your why – so the intention connects with that why.

What’s the reason you would want to lose 30lbs? Because you want to feel healthier, you want to feel good about your body. So if you focus on THAT, with your intention – who cares how you get there. What’s important is the end results – not a number, but that you feel good about your body and you feel healthy.

So think about setting intentions in terms of the experience you want to have.

Here’s a great example of someone I worked with several years ago: when I first spoke with her, her ‘goal’ was to increase her income so that she could save a certain amount of money, but she had been trying to do this for several years without success.

It met all the criteria for goal setting: she knew exactly how much she wanted, it was realistic, achievable, measurable, and with a clearly defined timeline. But it wasn’t happening.

So we began to explore why she wanted this amount of money, why it was important to her and what would change for her when she had it.

It turned out that she wanted the money so she could travel to Italy and spend a month or so living and exploring there. This was the amount of money she felt she needed to be able to do this comfortably.

Instead of focusing on the goal of making that amount of money, I suggested she set the intention of traveling and living in Italy and to immerse herself NOW in the experience she wanted to have, focusing only on the intention, and not how she was going to achieve it.

It didn’t take long, and the result was better than anything she could have imagined. Out of the blue (I love that phrase because I hear it a lot when people set intentions) she was offered the opportunity to spend a couple of months in Italy teaching English. Her travel, accommodation and all expenses would be covered - and she would be paid while she was there.

Focusing on the goal of raising the money for her trip was limiting her. When she focused instead on her intention, and the experience she wanted to have, she opened herself up to more possibilities.

Know Your Why
When you identify something that you want, see if you can dig deeper and keep asking yourself why. Why do you want it? Why is this important to you? And why is that important? Digging deep in this way will help you truly connect with what’s most important for you.

Whatever your goals or intentions, your ‘why’ is the energy behind them. When you want to change, achieve or accomplish something you’ll be able to do so more easily and effectively if you are really clear on why you want to change, achieve or accomplish it.

When you are clear on why you want to do something it gives you the motivation and enthusiasm to keep going even when things are difficult. Knowing why keeps you connected to the energy of what you want and that is what will help you attract it.

When you are connected to what you want because you know why you want it, you will be less distracted and will not allow yourself to be pulled off course. This connection helps you stay focused and energized when it comes to what you want. It helps you to set the intention and stay focused on it.

It’s interesting to note that, once you get used to asking yourself why you really want something, you may find that some of the things you think you want are not really things you want at all.

Often people discover that what they thought was so important to them, was really what was important to someone else, or was something they thought they ‘should’ want.

I have worked with several people who were focused on the goal of getting a certain job or promotion, only to find that the reason they wanted it was because they wanted meaning and fulfillment in their career. They wanted to feel that what they were doing mattered and made a difference in the world.

So it wasn’t really the specific job or promotion they wanted, they were focused on that because they thought it would give them the meaning and fulfillment they really wanted.

But when they focused on the intention of having meaning and fulfillment in their professional life, rather than on a specific job or promotion, they attracted different opportunities - ones they might never have considered.

Some have started their own businesses, some have moved into a different profession altogether, and they all have been able to find the meaning and fulfillment they were really looking for.

Get used to asking yourself why you want something, why it’s important to you and what will change for you when you achieve it. This will help you to set clear intentions that deliver the experiences you really want.

Form a New Habit
Since intentions are so powerful, it’s amazing that we don’t all use them all the time. I think there are 2 reasons for that - one is that it’s so simple, and we often dismiss something that’s so simple because we think simple things can’t possibly work and we look for something that’s more complicated.

The other reason is that our brains seem to automatically want to focus on the negative and what ‘might’ happen, based on past experiences. It takes effort to train your mind to focus on the positive experiences you want to have, instead of the uncomfortable things that might happen.

It's an effort that really pays off, so just like you would train your body if you wanted to run a marathon, so you want to train your brain by regularly setting intentions, so that it becomes a new habit - your new default.

A great way to start is to get into the habit of setting intentions each day, such as:

• Take a few moments to set an intention before you start your day. If you set an intention that you want to feel good today, no matter what happens. Then, even if something or someone comes along to pull you into a challenging situation, you can continue to remind yourself of your intention.
  
  This can stop you from taking on other people’s problems as your own, it can stop you from being pulled into someone else’s drama, and it can help you maintain a clear, focused mind, rather than being overwhelmed by whatever is happening around you.
  
  
• If you have to drive to work, your intention might be to have a joyful experience of driving to work. Then, even if you get stuck in traffic, perhaps you can enjoy listening to some music or an audio book, or if you encounter rude drivers you won’t be affected by them because you won’t allow yourself to be triggered.
  
  
• If you have to make a difficult phone call (perhaps to customer service) take a few moments to set an intention before you make the call – that you will easily reach the right person and you will receive the answers you need. Set an intention for a positive outcome.
  
  
• If you’re about to start working on something that seems overwhelming and difficult, set an intention that you will find a way to do it easily and enjoyably.
  
  
• Whenever you’re about to do something that you know you won’t like (I do this now when going to the dentist) set an intention that your experience will be positive, effortless, and pain-free.
  

Think of it as setting yourself up to succeed, to have more positive experiences, and to feel good. Remember also to express gratitude for the experiences you attract. That’s all part of the intention-setting process.

Be Patient
When you set an intention that you want something to happen it’s important to maintain focus on that intention, no matter what else happens around you.

It’s so easy to set an intention and then, when things don’t happen immediately the way you want them to, you give up and complain because it’s not working. We all do it.

Someone I spoke with recently had been struggling for some time with her intention to find a new home. She realized that she had been allowing other people and situations to pull her away from her intention so that she became distracted and her new home seemed further away than ever.

Once she realized this, she began to release the distractions and pull her focus back to her intention – and within a short time has found the home that she wanted.

Other people and situations will probably try to interfere with your intentions. This is where you have to be gentle and patient with yourself. Whenever you feel your mind shifting and going into something that does not support you and your intention, gently bring it back by reminding yourself of your intention.

When you set a clear intention and keep this at the forefront of your mind, you’ll find yourself making different choices, and saying no to things you previously may have said yes to (because you thought you should).

You’ll find yourself letting go of certain things, projects, experiences or people because they don’t serve you or your intention. You may find yourself interacting with people in a different way as you realize how certain people may be keeping you away from what’s most important to you.

You might also want to create a vision board that reflects your intention – for example, if health and wellness is your focus, you would paste pictures on a poster board that show you when you felt particularly fit and healthy, or of people doing things you would love to do – such as yoga, hiking, kayaking etc., If there are certain things you would do if you felt healthier and less stressed, paste pictures of people doing those things on the board. Just find pictures that reflect the intention that you’re setting.

Remember that setting an intention for your day gets you off to a great start in the morning and you’ll be amazed at how good it feels.

As you tune into what’s most important to you and set clear intentions you allow yourself to re-claim your power and connect to your true self. This benefits you and everyone around you.

Try it for yourself. Practice setting intentions for the type of experiences you want to have and just see what happens.

You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain!

If you find it difficult to set and stay focused on an intention, or you have trouble knowing what it is that you really want and why you want it, you may have energy that’s holding you back.

This [free] mini course shares The Top 10 Reasons Energy Holds You Back - I invite you to sign up and learn what might be standing in your way.

Everything you do has intention behind it, whether you’re aware of it or not. When you understand this and then deliberately set an intention, you are able to channel your energy in the most positive way possible.

Physician and author, Deepak Chopra says: “Everything that happens in the universe begins with intention. An intention is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the seed form of that which you aim to create.”

In this short video, I share tips for setting effective intentions, and when you want to set an intention rather than a goal.

I hope it inspires you to experiment a little more with setting intentions – see what happens.

Abraham Lincoln famously said “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be,” which is true, but also upsetting for many because they want to feel happier but they just don’t know how

It all sounds very simple when people say “just choose to be happy”, but what does that mean? And what does that look like?

There are people who outwardly appear to be very happy. They are the life and soul of the party, exude high energy, and they may seem to have it all - and yet inside they feel deeply unhappy.

Then there are people who are more quiet and thoughtful. You may not think they look particularly happy, but internally they are very peaceful and content.

I think happiness is deeply personal, and it fluctuates depending on what’s going on in your life.

So perhaps the most important things are to know what happiness means to you and feels like for you, and to know where you are now. Is there room for improvement anywhere or are you completely satisfied with everything as it is?

In this post I’ll share 10 strategies that will help anyone who wants to be able to increase their levels of happiness and well-being.

We all want to be happy. We want to feel good about ourselves, and our life choices. Although sometimes that doesn’t seem to be so easy.

There are many outside influences that affect us, and sometimes we don’t even believe we can be happy or deserve to be.

So instead of simply being able to choose happiness, it can become very complicated.

People often experience challenges like this:

• They have a lot of great things to appreciate in their lives and they want to be happy, but they just aren’t. There’s a feeling that something must be missing.
  

• They feel they can’t be happy when there is so much suffering going on in the world. “How can I be happy when ….. is happening?”
  

• If only … would happen then they would be happy (if only they made more money, lost weight, had the perfect job or the perfect relationship, etc.).
  

• They look to others for their happiness and when those people don’t behave as they expect, they are bitterly disappointed. This could be a partner or spouse, children, family members, etc.
  

• They don’t know how to be happy. Their life experiences have led them to believe that they are not meant to be happy.
  

• There’s a sense that every time things start going well and they start feeling good some kind of disaster will happen to change that.
  

• They are not happy with themselves, and/or are brought down by the criticism and judgment of others who don’t want them to be happy.
  

As you can see, it can be a complex subject and you may not simply be able to increase your feelings of happiness and levels of well-being overnight.

That’s why I want to share these strategies with you. These are all things that will create an immediate shift in your confidence, self-esteem, well-being - and ultimately your levels of happiness.

1. Say Goodbye to Toxic Relationships
   
   Do you know people who are constantly negative, leaving you feeling depressed or stressed after every interaction? There are also people who seem to live in a state of constant chaos and want to pull you into their drama too. There are people who are bullies, who are angry, or who are manipulative.
   
   You can be feeling really content and happy one minute, and feeling terrible the next after being around someone like this.
   
   Sometimes it’s not possible to avoid them completely - you may have a co-worker or even a family member who is like this. If that’s the case, then what you can do is to change how you respond to them. I like to set an intention before interacting with someone like this along the lines of:
   
   “I will not allow this person to manipulate my energy in any way, or to pass their energy onto me.”
   
   Then, I remind myself that their behavior has nothing to do with me. It’s a reflection of what’s going on with them and I don’t need to react or take it on. This works really well.
   
   If at all possible, remove yourself from any toxic relationship. Remind yourself that you deserve better and that you don’t have to tolerate relationships like this.
   
   “If somebody is looking for a bin to throw all their trash into, make sure it’s not in your mind.” - Dalai Lama
   
   
2. Embrace Healthy and Positive Relationships
   
   Who are the positive and supportive people in your life? These are the people you want to spend more time with - people who support, encourage, motivate and uplift you.
   
   If you don’t know where to find these people, you’ll notice that once you take care of yourself by letting go of the toxic relationships you’ll begin to attract more healthy ones.
   
   Pay attention to those people who leave you feeling uplifted and motivated. Know who they are and spend more time with them. A positive attitude can be just as infectious as a negative one.
   
   “You’re the average of all the people who surround you. So take a look around and make sure you’re in the right surroundings.”
   - David Burkus
   
   
3. Release Perfectionism
   
   It’s okay to have high standards and to believe in excellence, but if you try to be perfect all the time at everything, you can never be truly happy. You will put so much pressure on yourself that you will never be able to live up to it, which creates stress and limits your ability to really enjoy life.
   
   As a recovering perfectionist myself, I know this is true. I also discovered that as a perfectionist your intensity and incredibly high expectations (of yourself and others) often make it difficult for others to be around you. People can be intimidated because they feel they will never measure up, that nothing they do will ever be good enough.
   
   As a perfectionist, it’s not that you mean to be hard on everyone around you. You feel you just have very high standards and you can’t understand why everyone else doesn’t just get that. What you don’t realize (as I didn’t) is that your standards are impossibly high. So high that nobody (including you) can ever measure up.
   
   I know from experience that when you let go of the need to do everything perfectly you will feel happier, much more energized and much less stressed. You’ll also find that people will enjoy being around you so much more.
   
   “Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment and blame.” - Brene Brown
   
   
4. Let go of Expectations
   
   This goes with perfectionism -  when you have unreasonably high expectations for yourself, you’ll also have those same expectations for other people, which means you will spend a lot of time feeling disappointed.
   
   There’s nothing wrong with expecting the best of yourself – until those expectations become unreasonable. When your expectations are too high, you are putting too much pressure on yourself and setting yourself up for disappointment and failure.
   
   Your expectations are set by the beliefs that you have. I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” So it’s true that expectations can shape your reality.
   
   Just like most things, expectations can be helpful or not helpful. So it’s important to be aware of the expectations you have and how they are serving you. You may have some unhelpful expectations that you’re not aware of, and they can make life unnecessarily difficult.
   
   It’s particularly important for those of us who are empathic and/or highly sensitive to be aware of and pay attention to our expectations because we tend to have extremely (and often unrealistically) high expectations of ourselves, and therefore of others.
   
   Also, because we see and experience things in a different way, with a lot more sensory input, we may have a tendency to expect that others see and feel what we do, when they don’t (and can’t). This sets us up for massive disappointment.
   
   Other people are not like you, so don’t expect them to be. Releasing your expectations of others and unreasonably high expectations for yourself will allow you to relax and tap into happiness.
   
   As with everything, it comes down to awareness. The more aware you become of your expectations, the more you will be able to see whether they are supporting you or standing in your way.
   
   Where do you have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations for yourself and others and how are they affecting you? When you recognize them you can change them. This doesn’t mean you lower your standards, but it does mean that you stop punishing yourself, or setting yourself up for disappointment.
   
   “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” - Donald Miller
   
   
5. Stop Comparing Yourself
   
   Your job is to be the best you that you can be. That’s it. It doesn’t matter what other people have or what other people do, you are not them.
   
   You will never be truly happy if you are constantly comparing yourself to others because in many ways you’ll feel that you don’t measure up.
   
   Comparing yourself to others will always leave you feeling dissatisfied. It’s a waste of your energy because by comparing you are giving your power away.
   
   Focus on yourself, what you want, and what you need to do for you, rather than on what other people are or are not doing or do or do not have.
   
   If you’re highly sensitive and/or empathic you are one of just 20% of the population. This means that the majority of people are not like you and so comparing yourself to others is really counter-productive. Not many people will have the same sensory perceptions as you or the same levels of empathy, and will not be affected by the same things. If you expect them to, you will be very disappointed and frustrated indeed.
   
   Put your attention on yourself and don’t worry about what others are doing. Things are rarely what they appear to be, and there are always more sides to any story. Yes, things often seem to be unfair and others may seem to have things easier than you  - but instead of focusing on them, focus on you and what you can do to improve things for yourself. I promise you’ll be much happier.
   
   “The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” - Steven Furtick
   
   
6. Do More of What You Love
   
   What brings you joy? What do you love to do so much that time flies when you’re doing it? How can you bring more of this into your life?
   
   You might think that you don’t have time or that you have so many responsibilities that it would be irresponsible to spend time on yourself in this way.
   
   It’s important to find the time - not only for your own happiness, but you’ll find that it will benefit everyone around you as well.
   
   It doesn’t have to be difficult. All you have to do is make sure you schedule regular time to do something that you really enjoy.
   
   Let’s say you enjoy writing - you could set aside some time each day (15 or 30 minutes) or an hour or two each week and just allow yourself to sit and write.
   
   Whatever it is, put it on your calendar. Schedule time for yourself to do something you love. It can be that simple.
   
   Spend more time doing what you love and you’ll naturally feel happier and more energized.
   
   “Do what makes YOU happy. Focus on what brings YOU joy. Appreciate and do more things that make YOU smile. Live your life for yourself. You matter! You count! You’re deserving of true happiness! This is YOUR life. Live it to the fullest! Live life with no regrets.” - Stephanie Lahart
   
   
7. Put Yourself First
   
   Contrary to popular belief, putting yourself first is not selfish. It is if you do it at the expense of others, but making sure that your needs are met means that you will have more positive energy to share with others because you’ll feel good.
   
   If you’re used to putting others first all the time, you will ultimately find your energy becoming depleted. So often we want to help others when we are struggling ourselves and then frustration and resentment can build as we become more and more depleted.
   
   You might think it’s selfish to take care of yourself or put yourself first when others need help, but it’s exactly the opposite. When your needs are met and you feel good, you are able to help others from a place of strength, which means that you can help them even more.
   
   I think this quote sums it up quite nicely:
   
   "You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive nor sick enough to help sick people get well." – Abraham
   
   Stop putting yourself last on the list. Put yourself first and then you’ll have more to give others.
   
   “Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”
   - Parker Palmer
   
   
8. Know Yourself
   
   The Greek philosopher, Aristotle, said “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” It’s true – the most successful people know themselves very well and use that knowledge to their advantage.
   
   How well do you really know yourself? For example:
   
   - What energizes you?
   - What drains you?
   - What makes you feel good?
   - What doesn’t?
   - What brings you joy?
   - What is most important to you?
   
   It’s so helpful to develop extreme self-awareness and to get to know yourself at the deepest levels.
   
   When you know what’s most important to you, have a clear sense of what energizes you and what drains you, and are familiar with your strengths and weaknesses you are less likely to be thrown off-track when difficulties arise.
   
   How do you develop this level of self-awareness? By paying attention to everything you think and everything you feel. When something bothers you, be willing to explore and use the situation to learn more about yourself.
   
   I think the more you know yourself energetically and emotionally, the stronger you become and the less threatened you feel by stressful situations or by other people’s behavior.
   
   The more you know yourself, the more confident, empowered and happier you become, and everyone benefits.
   
   “The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” - Toni Collette
   
   
9. Learn to Embrace Change
   
   If there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s that life is constantly changing. Nothing stays the same forever, no matter how much we might want it to.
   
   The challenges come when you resist change or are afraid of it, because then you will experience more stress and anxiety. When you learn to embrace change and go with the flow of life you open yourself up to more possibilities and more happiness.
   
   It’s the resistance to change that causes us to suffer. I used to be afraid of change, but now I truly embrace it. If things are going to change anyway, it’s much better to focus on what it is that you really want and allow things to change in that direction, rather than clinging to what you know.
   
   I know it can be difficult when change is forced upon you unexpectedly, but even then it’s very likely that, if you don’t resist it, and you look for what’s good about the change, then it will lead you to something better.
   
   Just like the saying “when one door closes, another opens.” How often has an unexpected change come about for you that felt really uncomfortable at the time, but now when you look back you can see it was probably the best thing that could have happened for you?
   
   When you learn to accept and even embrace change, rather than being afraid of it or resisting it, you’ll find there’s a lot less stress in your life, which will allow you to feel much happier.
   
   “Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant.” - Anthony D’Angelo
   
   
10. Allow Others to Help You
    
    How good are you at asking for and receiving help from others?
    
    So often we think we have to do everything ourselves and that it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help, or it means we don’t know what we’re doing.
    
    I used to be terrible at asking for help and I didn’t know how to receive it. Now I know that it’s not weakness to ask for help, it’s actually a sign of strength.
    
    Not only that, I found that people really like to be asked. People feel good when they have an opportunity to help.
    
    How often do you find yourself struggling with something because you don’t like to ask for help? How often are you disappointed when others don’t offer to help you or are not there when you need them?
    
    You must learn to ask for what you want. Don’t expect others to guess or to know what you need. If you learn to ask, you’ll be surprised how often you’ll receive exactly what you need – or perhaps even more.
    
    Sometimes you might not ask because you don’t want to bother anyone, or because you’re afraid they will say no. At least give people the opportunity to say yes. So often we deny people the opportunity to help us because we don’t like to ask for help.
    
    When you try to do everything by yourself and you shut others out you put too much pressure on yourself and you’ll never be able to relax. Other people want to help you, and they will feel good when they do. When you take the pressure off yourself by allowing others to help, you can relax and enjoy life so much more.
    
    “Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you."  - Jim Rohn
    
    
    

What would it be like if you made your happiness a priority? What would it be like if you started each day by setting an intention to do more of what brings you happiness?

Perhaps you already do make your happiness a priority. If you do, I applaud you because you are putting out more positive energy into the world - which is truly needed.

If not, I invite you to consider those questions and allow yourself to bring a little more happiness into your life. Implementing any one of these strategies will make a significant impact on your health, happiness and general well-being. Don’t wait - start today!

Sometimes you might feel you can’t be happier no matter what you do. You want to be happy, but every time things start to improve and you feel better, something happens to pull you back.

In this case, it’s likely that you have invisible emotional energy and emotional pain that’s holding you back. I’ve put together a free min-course sharing the Top 10 Reasons That Energy Holds You Back, which will help you see if this is what’s happening for you.

I frequently hear from people about the challenges they are experiencing that affect their ability to live a fulfilling and happy life. They share things like this:

• "I feel like I need to fight for myself all the time and after "the battle" I feel extremely exhausted."
  
  
• "I feel under-valued, overwhelmed, and taken advantage of. I need ways to cope with hard days at work."
  
  
• "I want to not allow other people's suffering to affect me for so long, so I can shake it off and move on."
  
  
• "I want to learn to cope better and not cry when overwhelmed, and to try to become more self-aware."
  
  

I think all of these situations have one thing in common that, if addressed, would improve circumstances for each of these people immeasurably. This video explains how.

Have you ever felt that there must be something holding you back, but you just can’t get to the bottom of what it is?

Like the person who can’t seem to make the progress they want, no matter how hard they try. Or the person who is very knowledgeable, successful and accomplished, but continues to doubt themselves and their abilities.

Then there are people who are so deeply affected by other people’s energy, emotions and opinions, that it affects their confidence, self-esteem and happiness.

It can all be very confusing, as well as frustrating and overwhelming at times.

Even though people think they know themselves quite well, when they begin to go inward and look more closely, it soon becomes very clear that there are emotions and energies affecting them that they had absolutely no idea about.

It’s often a shock for them to discover just how much these emotions and energies have been controlling them.

In this blog post I’ll share examples of how this invisible emotional energy and pain can affect you and hold you back, and what you can do about it.

Everything is energy. Our thoughts are energy, our emotions are energy, and any painful or traumatic experience we have has energy.

When a particular emotion is triggered, you feel it in your body. When you have an unhappy thought, you feel it, and when you have a painful or traumatic experience you feel it energetically in your body, and that energy is stored inside you.

It is in our nature to move away from whatever doesn’t feel good. When it comes to uncomfortable emotions and painful experiences, this can mean that we ignore them, try to push them away or alternatively, we can allow them to overtake us, taking us into a downward spiral of pain and discomfort.

This energy and pain can build up inside you and, even when you think you’ve moved past the situation that created it, it can continue to affect you without you knowing it.

Emotional energy and pain is invisible, but it affects you on a daily basis. When it’s not acknowledged and released, it will create more painful situations and more discomfort.

When you have awareness and understanding of this energy, it enables you to see just how it impacts you and your ability to accomplish what you want.

Without this awareness, this energy controls you without your knowledge, and you never associate the experiences you’re having and the situations that arise with the emotional energy and pain that is stored within you.

Without this awareness, when things are not working out as you want them to, you’ll find yourself focusing on the wrong things. As you focus on the wrong things, you’ll experience more frustration and anxiety and add more of this energy to what is already there.

Without this understanding we become disconnected from our true selves, constantly looking outside ourselves for answers that we cannot find.

For example, think of the person who is unhappy with their job, so they leave and find a new job, only to discover they are just as unhappy in the new position. This may happen multiple times as they are constantly searching for that ideal position that will bring them happiness and fulfillment, which never comes.

It doesn’t happen because the problem is not the job. Nothing will change until they begin to look at the energy within themselves.

I once worked with someone who was having this exact experience. After a couple of calls he said “I’m just realizing that it’s not the job, it’s me.” He recognized that he would continue to have the same experiences until he looked at himself and how he was creating these situations.

Another client was struggling to grow her business and was frustrated with her husband whom, she felt, was being unsupportive. During one of our early conversations she said “It’s not him is it? It’s me.”

When I work with people it’s always exciting for me when they arrive at this understanding because it means they are ready to change their situation. As long as they continue to believe that the problem is outside of them, nothing can change.

The key lies in being aware of and being willing to acknowledge your emotions. Not only the emotions you are feeling at any given moment, but also the emotional energy and pain that is stored from your past.

Instead of avoiding ‘negative’ emotions, you can learn how to process them. When you do this, they cannot continue to affect you. This article in Psychology Today has some helpful information on the processing of emotions.

The thought of doing this type of inner work is terrifying for some people. They imagine they will have to revisit painful experiences from childhood, or that once they take the lid off these emotions and this pain it will be too much to bear.

But this does not have to be the case. It’s not about going back. I see it more as looking at what’s going on now and how it’s affecting you - then moving forward from there.

I’ll share some of my favorite ways of releasing emotional energy and pain, but before I do that, I want to show you the huge impact and benefit of identifying and releasing this energy by sharing comments from some of the people I’ve worked with, so you can see that it doesn’t have to be terrifying at all:

"Over the past weeks I have seen parts of myself I didn't realize existed and they shook me to my core. My focus has shifted away from trying to figure out my next career move to paying attention to myself. I am relaxing into whatever is to be and not trying to control it.”

"I had a wonderful moment of clarity about fear. I have allowed fear way too much power over me in my life.  It doesn't have to be that way. It's so obvious all of a sudden.  In trying to sort it out, I realized that there were 5 different things contributing to the fear of this moment.”

“I’m only two lessons in and have experienced the most profound shift. I used to be petrified to take my mind off of financial striving, for fear of not having enough. With your program, I’ve focused on creating ease and peace in my life, and at the same time created a better income than I’ve experienced in years.”

“When I look back on the past 5 weeks I can’t believe how much I have changed. I feel like I have more control, more peace in my life. I’m more accepting of others, I have a better relationship with my brother, not so jealous, more loving relationship. Same with my mom. I feel like I’m releasing a lot of things that I have had inside for a long time.”

“I've learned I am good enough and relearned to trust my judgement, walk away from things that don't feel right instead of doing them because I feel obligated.  I've learned to focus on what I need to focus on instead of obsessing over things I felt jealous about.  I've regained my self confidence and feel happier."

For these people, and many others, the insights they gained are invaluable and, as you can tell, immediately helped them to feel better and improve their situations.

I think the most important thing to remember is that, although there are people who can help you do this, nobody can do it for you.

There are many techniques and strategies that are helpful. I’ll share some of my favorites here:

Process the Emotion - this is my favorite. It has proven to be the most effective for me and I love to help my clients work through emotions by following these steps:

• Sit quietly, close your eyes and take a deep breath
• Identify what you’re feeling - name the emotion (angry, sad, etc.)
• Notice where you feel it the most in your body (chest, abdomen, etc.)
• Put your attention on this area and breathe into it
• Notice what you feel without judgment and keep breathing into it
• Imagine you are shining a spotlight onto this area, this emotion
• Keep breathing and notice if anything about it changes while you’re doing this
• Ask yourself: “what do I need to learn from what I’m feeling?” “What is this feeling telling me about myself?”
• Pay attention to what comes to you - if nothing comes, don’t worry, just continue to breathe into it and keep the spotlight on it. Acknowledge what you’re feeling
• Take as long as you need, and when you feel you’re ready, open your eyes and come back

Sometimes insights come right away, sometimes it may be a day or two later, be open to learning what this is about

The more you practice this the easier it will become. Eventually, you’ll be able to do it without needing to close your eyes, and you’ll be able to do it in any situation. It can take just a minute or two to do.


Journaling - this is another very effective way of discovering what energy you’re dealing with and then releasing it. You can write about the situation you’re experiencing, write about what you’re feeling and see if you can uncover any insights. Again, you can ask yourself what it is you need to learn from what’s going on - if you allow yourself to write without thinking too much you will often gain valuable insights.

You can then write something like “I am now willing to release this….” or ask how you can release it and again see what comes to you as you write.

You can also use specific journaling prompts to help you with whatever emotion you are feeling.

Meditation - a guided or focused meditation can help you release difficult emotions. You can meditate on the specific challenge. You can create an affirmation or mantra to focus on while you’re meditating. For example, if you are feeling angry about something, you could focus on an affirmation that says “I am willing to learn what my anger is telling me.”

Instead of trying to push the feeling away or replace it with a positive one, embrace it and see what you can learn from it. If you find it difficult to do by yourself, you can also use a guided meditation that walks you through the process.

Talk it through - sometimes there’s no substitute for talking through what you’re feeling. It’s best if you do this with someone who is trained and has the ability to help you - such as a coach, a therapist or healing practitioner. Although if you have a supportive and understanding friend or colleague who knows how to listen and ask the right questions and who won’t try to ‘fix’ the situation, that can also be helpful.

Sometimes just the act of talking about it brings clarity and helps to release what you’re feeling.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) - If you’re not familiar with this technique, it involves tapping on certain acupressure points while saying certain statements related to the situation. There are many YouTube videos that show you how to do this - I think this one is effective, by Brad Yates

There are also many therapists who specialize in this technique.

When you feel unhappy with your life, when things aren’t working out, or when you continue to repeat the same patterns over and over, recognize that what you think is the problem (the job, the relationship, the situation) is probably not the real problem. You may have emotional energy and pain that is holding you back.

We can become very good at hiding or not dealing with our emotions, but this does not cause them to go away. The energy and pain from your beliefs and your experiences is stored within you and can affect everything you do.

When you properly acknowledge and process your emotions, you can effectively release them and use them to give you greater confidence and strength, so you know you have the ability to handle any situation.
 
If you’re still not sure whether emotional energy and pain might be holding you back, take this short quiz to bring some clarity.

You can also enroll in a free mini-course that will share with you the Top 10 Reasons Energy Holds You back.

In this short video we explore the invisible emotional energy and pain that holds us back.

It discusses:

• Where this emotional energy and pain can come from
• What happens when you continue to ignore it
• How you can begin to discover what this means for you.

This is such an important topic because it holds the key to many of the challenges that you have been facing.

It will help to make sense of some of the things you are experiencing that haven't made sense before.

Want to know if there is invisible emotional energy and pain holding you back? Take the quiz to find out.

Some people know from an early age exactly what they are passionate about and what they want to do with their life. They have a clear sense of purpose and develop a clear vision for who they want to be and what they want to accomplish.

There is often an assumption that this is how it should be for everyone. So if you are not clear on exactly who you are, what you’re passionate about, and what you want to do with your life, you can be left feeling as though there must be something wrong.

In fact, many people struggle with the whole concept of having passions, a purpose and vision, and it can even create anxiety. They say things like:

• What if I don’t know what my passion is?
  
• I am struggling with knowing exactly what my purpose is.
• I want to have passion and purpose but I can’t think of anything big enough.
• What comes first, passion or purpose?
  
• Is purpose the same as having a vision?
• Should I have a vision?
  
  

In this article I explore how to let go of any confusion or uncertainty, and connect with what’s important in a way that is meaningful for you.

Passion - something you enjoy doing so much that you lose track of time when you’re doing it. Perhaps you love reading about it, talking about it, and/or you want to do it any time you can. It can be something big and meaningful - like saving animals or the environment. But you might just as equally be passionate about baking, playing a sport, or doing a jigsaw puzzle.

Purpose - why you want to do something. Why do you enjoy it so much? Why is it so important to you? What is your purpose in doing it. Again, it could be something big - like you want to save the planet, or put an end to the suffering of animals, or it could be that completing a jigsaw gives you a feeling of accomplishment, or baking for your family is a way of showing your love for them.

Vision - your vision for yourself, your life and what you want to accomplish comes from knowing your passions and purpose, and is something that inspires you. Your vision can adapt and change as you grow and change. Again, you may have a big, bold vision that inspires you and is your motivation to get out of bed each morning. Or, your vision could simply be to be the best you can be at what you do, or to live the happiest life you can. When you have a vision you then start to think about HOW to make that vision happen.

If you don’t already have a clear idea of your passion, purpose and vision, here are some suggestions to help you connect with them in the way that’s right for you.

1. Let go of ‘shoulds’
   I think the first step is to let go of any thoughts about what they ‘should’ be, or what this is supposed to look like. For example, you may have read books about turning your passion into profit, and if that’s what you want to do, that’s great. But just because you have a passion for baking, that may not mean that you want to open a bakery. In fact, sometimes, when you turn a passion into something that you do for a living, it can actually take all the joy out of it.
   
   
2. Know what you want
   Of course, it is possible to turn something you are passionate about into a career or business and if that’s what you’d like to do, it’s important to pursue that. The question to ask yourself is whether this is something you’d like to be doing all the time. If you enjoy something so much that you love talking about it and being around people who do it and talk about it as much as you can, then you can explore what’s possible.
   
   
3. Brainstorm possibilities
   So often we dismiss things because we think it’s impossible to make a living doing it. For example, you may absolutely love everything about playing piano, but you’re not at the standard of a concert pianist. That doesn’t mean to say you couldn’t make a living with it. For example, perhaps you could work in a store that sold pianos, or perhaps you could teach people how to play, or create an online course that shows people how to play. Or perhaps you could host piano retreats (online at the moment of course) or something like that. There are many possibilities you may not have thought of. This would give you the opportunity to pursue what you are passionate about and make a living doing it - if that feels good to you.
   
   
4. Stop comparing
   I think one of the things that holds people back the most is when they compare themselves to others. You may look at someone else who has a very clear purpose and vision and knows what they are passionate about and think you want to be like them. This will lead to disappointment and frustration. It doesn’t matter what others are doing or not doing. The most important thing is to connect with yourself, to discover what’s important to you, what you enjoy and what feels right for you.
   
   
5. Allow for change
   You may be really passionate about something and driven to do it right now, but in a couple of years time that might change. You might be drawn to something else that becomes your new passion. I think we often feel held back because we think that once we choose something it’s then set in stone and we have to do it for the rest of our lives. Some people have more than one passion, and that’s okay. I love this TED talk by Emilie Wapnic, where she talks about why some of us don’t have one true calling.
   
   
6. Know who you are
   It’s important to learn how to connect with yourself at the deepest levels, with the core of who you are. Even if you love to do different things, and you seem to move from one thing to another, then what that means is that at your core, you are passionate about learning. Maybe you’re great at starting things and once they are started you love to hand them over to someone else so you can learn something new. There’s nothing wrong with that if that’s who you are.
   
   
7. Know what you (really) want
   I always say that the biggest secret to getting what you want is to know what you (really) want. This may sound obvious, but when I work with clients this is the thing they often have the hardest time with. Often they think they know what they want, but when we really start digging a little deeper they find that what they thought they wanted is what they thought they ‘should’ want. It’s what they’ve been programmed to believe they wanted. That’s why I say you need to get to know what you (really) want. What feeds your soul? What lights you up? That’s what you want to connect with.

Passions:

There’s no doubt that being passionate about something energizes you. When something is very important to you, and you really enjoy it, you feel energized when you think about it, talk about it, or do it.

If you’re still finding it difficult to identify what your passions are, here are some things to think about:

• When you think about someone who is passionate about something, you probably think of someone who is on fire with ideas and motivation – who has really high energy. But not everyone feels passion that intently. Perhaps you really enjoy doing something, but it’s a quieter enjoyment. It brings you peace, it makes you feel good. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to spend every waking moment talking about it or being involved in it.
  
  
• Perhaps passion doesn’t have to be some big, bold thing that you do all the time. It can be other, smaller things. You might have a passion for music – but it’s not something you want to try making a living doing. You might have a passion for cooking – but you have no desire to open a restaurant. I have a passion for playing tennis, and I’ll play as much as I possibly can, but I have no vision of being able to do any more than that.
  
  
• You might have a passion for jigsaws, knitting, reading, writing or being outdoors – it could be any number of things. But you can simply enjoy doing them as much as you want, without needing to turn it into something big or bold or that you do all the time – unless you want to.
  

• What you’re passionate about doesn’t have to be something that you impress others with. And passions can change – you might find a time when you’re tired of doing jigsaws, but you find a love for crosswords or Sudoku.
  

• You don’t have to dismiss something you enjoy doing as not being a passion just because it doesn’t fit in with the stereotypical view of what a passion should or shouldn’t be.
  

Purpose

Feeling that you have a purpose and you are living that purpose is also energizing, rather than feeling that you’re just moving through each day with no sense of purpose.

When it comes to purpose, many people struggle to know what this is for them. When you do something with purpose, you do it with determination. When your activities have a purpose, you have an aim or intention in mind. I’m doing this because….

So really, everything you do has a purpose – you have a reason why you’re doing it. The important thing is to know what that ‘why’ is, and to make sure it’s a good fit for you.

For example, I mentioned that I’m passionate about tennis and will play as much as I possibly can. Why do I do it? For me, it’s about so much more than running around and hitting a ball, and getting exercise.

Getting exercise is helpful and important, I also enjoy the social aspect – being on a team and creating friendships with my teammates. But the biggest thing I get out of it, is that it’s a tremendous source of personal growth and improvement for me.

I’m always striving to improve – not just my tennis game, but my physical fitness, and my emotional and mental fitness as well. I have learned so much about myself, and other people, and handling conflict and difficult situations by playing tennis than anything else. How I feel and how I handle things when I’m playing tennis also helps me to make sense of many other things in my life.

So my purpose is much bigger than just the game of tennis.

If you’re thinking – well I have my job, but I’m not passionate about it and my purpose in doing it is so that I can pay my bills, well that’s still a purpose isn’t it? Maybe that’s not the purpose you want and perhaps you would ideally like to find a job that gives you more meaning and fulfillment. Then your job search would have purpose – it wouldn’t be just to find another job, it would be to find a job that is the best fit for you that gives you meaning and fulfillment.

Again, I think we often get stuck thinking that we have to have a big purpose in life – and that’s fine if that’s what you want. But everything you do has a reason behind it – I like to say it’s the energy behind what you’re doing. So if your purpose or the energy behind what you’re doing feels good, then you’ll get much more out of it – and so will everyone else around you.

Vision

Having a clear vision of who you are, what you want and where you want to go can give you the energy and motivation you need to get out of bed in the morning.

Many people are so used to simply getting up and getting through each busy day – and focusing on what they have to do and on the needs of the other people in their life, that they’ve completely lost touch with anything that might really fire them up and get them excited. They just don’t know what that is.

Were you ever asked – what is your vision for your life? Or where do you see yourself in the next 5 years – what’s your vision of where you’ll be and what you’ll be doing?

I always hated those questions because I just didn’t know. Having to come up with an answer to that always felt a bit fake to me – and I thought that was just me. But I now know that many people feel the same way.

My experience has been that when you let go of feeling that you need to have a vision, or that your vision for yourself or your life should be a certain way or isn’t big enough, then you open yourself up to more possibilities.

You can’t have a clear vision of anything unless you really know who you are at the deepest levels. The more you commit to self-awareness, the clearer you become on what you want for yourself and your life. But if you try to figure that out before you really know yourself, I think you may struggle.

And I think that’s where people do often struggle and feel stuck, and stay stuck. Because they’re trying to figure out their purpose and vision without really knowing themselves properly.

I think that when it comes to passion, purpose and vision it’s helpful to:

• Release expectations of what those should and shouldn’t be
  
• Stop comparing yourself to others
• Commit to learning more about yourself
• Allow for the fact that your passions, purpose and vision can change. As you change and grow so will they.
• Don’t let anyone else tell you what your passions, purpose or vision should be.
• Trust yourself to know what’s best for you

Most of all, take the pressure off, because what if, as the Dalai Lama says: The purpose of our lives is to be happy. Then all you need is know what makes you happy and do that.

What I’ve learned is that when you let go of trying to figure it all out, and instead make a commitment to getting to know and accept who you really are, then your passions, purpose and vision naturally emerge.

If you’re having difficulty knowing what it is that you really want for yourself and your life, a great place to start is to identify what you know you don’t want, and then go from there. It’s a great starting point to help you identify what you do really want.

Most importantly, make the decision to learn as much about yourself as you can. Every person and every situation has something to teach you about yourself. If you’d like to connect with a community of like-minded people who are on the same path, check out my exclusive membership membership program, where you will learn how to Know, Accept and BE Who You Are.

Not everyone feels comfortable when asked about their passion, purpose or vision. For many people it is a cause for confusion, they say things like:

• There are lots of things I enjoy, but I don't feel really passionate about anything
• I have no idea what my purpose is
• I feel as though I should know what I'm passionate about and have a purpose but the idea seems overwhelming to me
• Does it mean there's something wrong with me if I don't know what my purpose is?

These thoughts are more common than you might think, and I address them in this short video.

If you've ever felt this way, I hope this video will help you feel better and perhaps gain some clarity when it comes to passion, purpose and/or vision.