The pandemic has forced most of us to spend more time at home, and many are even working from home. For some this has been a positive experience, and for others it’s been very difficult.

One major reason it can be challenging is when your home becomes cluttered. If it wasn’t an issue for you before, it may be now that you’ve been spending more time at home, and if clutter was an issue for you before, it may have become worse.

Once clutter begins to take hold, it can be very difficult to get it under control and it easily becomes overwhelming, causing you to feel stressed.

In order to really master clutter, it’s important to understand that it’s not just about the ‘stuff,’ there’s a lot more to it. When you look at it energetically, it becomes easier to master.

In this article I’ll share what clutter is, how it affects you, and I’ll share some strategies for regaining control.

Many professional women spend so much time working, and taking care of the family that there isn’t enough time left to take care of the home in the way they’d like. Before they know it, one or more areas of their home have become overwhelmed with clutter. They try to keep on top of it, but there are so many other things to do that they reach the point where it gets out of hand.

It can be quite a dilemma because you don’t have the time, energy or motivation to be able to deal with it. Follow these tips to help you regain control:


Understand what clutter you have: we don’t always recognize what clutter is. It’s so much more than piles of stuff. Here are some examples:

• Anything you don’t need, use, want or love
  
• Things you do want and use that are untidy or disorganized
• Too many things for the size of the space
• Anything that is broken or unfinished
• Things that you’re holding onto “just in case”
• Things that you don’t really want but are holding onto out of guilt (such as an unwanted gift from a close family member, or things that belonged to a loved one who has passed away)

Understanding what type of clutter you have is the first step to eliminating it for good.

Know how your clutter affects you: Something that people don’t often realize is that everything has energy, including your stuff. This means that it is connected to you energetically, which is why it can cause you to feel more and more tired and lethargic and unable to deal with it. Clutter affects your overall health and well-being in many ways.

Things that hold negative memories and associations for you continue to affect you deeply when you have them in your home. The more you have, where it’s located and the longer it’s been there can all add to the stress. Clutter can keep you stuck in the past and create confusion and disorganization in your life.

Understanding your clutter helps you to see why it becomes so overwhelming. You have memories and associations tied up in everything you own. You are connected to it emotionally and energetically. This can make it very difficult to let go of things, even if you don’t need, use, want or love them or if they evoke negative memories. They keep you stuck.

Everything is energy, and when you have a better understanding of the effects that your possessions have on you, it can give you the motivation that you need to take control.

Here’s an example - let’s say you go on vacation and you bring back a memento from that trip, every time you see it then it will remind you of what a great time you had. It will bring back memories of the trip, where you went, who you were with, what you did, and how you felt. This will move your energy to a high vibration.

Now, think of something you have in your home that reminds you of a difficult time in your life. Perhaps of someone who treated you badly, or a time of struggle. Every time you see that item it will trigger those memories and move your energy to a lower vibration.

When you think of it like that, what would you rather be surrounded by – things that have good associations or negative ones?

As you look around at the things you are keeping, consider that the more ‘unhappy’ things you have and the longer you have been keeping them, that is lowering your energy vibration on a daily basis.

Why We Accumulate Clutter

There are many reasons why we hold onto things that we really don’t need, use, want or love, such as:

• Just in case – you might need it someday
  
• Holding on to the past - how things used to be and how you used to be
• It was expensive
• You’d feel guilty letting it go
• You used to love it and use it
• You intend to do something with it, but haven’t been able to get around to it yet (how long has it been?)
• It’s hidden away, so you don’t see it and forget you have it

As with everything, awareness is key. Once you become aware of the energy of things, the memories, associations and emotions that are tied up with them, and how those things affect your energy, it’s difficult to ignore the situation.

Change is happening constantly. People and situations come into our lives and move out. There is an ebb and flow to life – and so there should be with our ‘stuff’ as well.

There are times when things are useful and times when they’re not and it’s essential to be able to let them go, otherwise you are holding onto energy that is not a good fit for you anymore and it will keep you stuck.

How Clutter Affects You

Clutter affects us in different ways, and it affects some people more than others. The more sensitive you are to energy, the more it affects you.

Here are a few of the ways that clutter and disorganization can affect you:

• Low energy – clutter makes you feel tired, and lethargic. The more you have, the more overwhelming it is and the less you feel able to deal with it. This is why people say they feel more energized after they’ve had a good spring cleaning session.
  
  
• Keeps you stuck in the past – as an example, I’ve worked with many people who were ready to move on from unhappy relationships or family situations but seemed unable to do so. In each case, we discovered they were holding onto items that had very unhappy memories and associations for them from those relationships. They were able to move on only when they were able to let go of those items that were keeping them stuck.
  
  
• Congestion – when you have clutter, not only is your home congested, your own energy is congested too. Because you are connected to your home energetically.
  
  
• Lack of self-care – as well as an energetic connection, there is also a large emotional connection that you have with many of your possessions. Clutter represents some dissatisfaction with yourself and/or your life. When you look after your environment, you are also more likely to look after yourself.
  
  
• Confusion/disorganization – have you ever been unable to find something you know you have? Or have you purchased something that you already have and forgot you had? I worked with someone once who had 4 copies of the same book – she just didn’t know she’d already bought it before (and she hadn’t read it yet)! The more clutter you have, the less clarity you have, and you waste time searching for lost things, or money buying things you already have.
  
  
• Affects how people treat you – people tend to treat you the way you treat yourself, which means that you can attract people who mistreat you or at the very least don’t respect you. Sorting out clutter can improve your relationships.
  
  
• Procrastination – things you put off attending to in your home represent things you are putting off in your life.
  
  
• Disharmony – clutter is often a major cause of arguments within a household. It can also distract you from what’s really important.
  

These are just some of the ways clutter has an impact.

Remember that your possessions are not only alive with energy, they are also alive with your memories and associations, and so you want to make sure that you surround yourself with things that you love, need, use and want.

Eliminating clutter is difficult when you think it’s only about the stuff. Understanding what you have, how it’s affecting you, and why you’re keeping it helps you regain control. It gets worse when you don’t address the core of the problem – such as why you’re holding onto things from the past or why you’re holding onto things that have negative associations for you. Keeping these things only keeps you stuck in the past and maintains an attachment to negative situations or people.

Understanding the clutter is the first step to eliminating it. When you know what you’re keeping and why, it’s easier to let go of it.

When you’re ready, here are some strategies that can help you see real progress quickly.

First, it’s helpful to prepare some boxes and label them. One is for things you want to throw away, one is for things you want to donate, another for anything you want to sell, and then there’s what you want to keep.

Once you have your boxes, choose one area that you want to focus on (such as a room, a closet or drawer, the garage, etc.) Schedule some time, such as 1 or 2 hours, and remove everything from that room or space.

Once everything is out of the room, cupboard or closet, then you start sorting. You put things into the various containers and the things you want to keep go to one side.

Once you’ve sorted, you start putting back the things that you want to keep – but you must make sure that you have a place for each item. The only things you put back are the things you want to keep, nothing else.

The reason for doing it this way is that it’s very difficult to sort through things when you’re in the room or space you’re sorting. That’s why it’s helpful to take everything out – then you can really sort properly.

When I do this I like to play some upbeat music, which really helps me make progress.

This method can feel very overwhelming for some people. If we’re talking about a large area, such as a basement or garage, you might want to divide it up into areas and tackle one area at a time.

If this does feel too overwhelming to you, then you can simply set a timer for a small amount of time that feels good and manageable to you. It could be 5 minutes, or it could be 30 minutes, or one hour. Whatever amount of time it is for you, you’ll want to do this regularly. So, for example, it might be 10 minutes every day. Or 1 hour every other day. Or It could be 3 hours every Friday.

Whatever it is, you need to set a schedule and stick to it. This may not seem like very much, but you’d be amazed at how you can accomplish this way. The key is frequency and consistency, and making the amount of time manageable and not overwhelming.

You could set yourself a challenge to do 10 minutes every day for 1 month. That adds up over time. At the end of 30 days that would be 5 hours! You can accomplish a lot in 5 hours.

If you’re like most people, I think you’ll find that once you get started you will want to keep going after the timer goes off. I wouldn’t recommend doing that the first few times you try it, but later on you can if you want to.

If even that doesn’t seem doable, then simply throw out one thing every day. Even that expands over time, until you find that you’re beginning to make real progress. Start somewhere. It doesn’t matter how small, just do something, and do it frequently. The energy will soon build.

Start with the most simple things - ones that you are not tied to emotionally. When you have a lot of emotion tied up in things (such as things from a deceased loved one) that can make it more difficult to let go, so start with something easier until you feel you’re making progress.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you find that you just can’t get started. Ask a friend or family member to help you, or hire a professional organizer. There is no shame in asking for help. What’s worse is not asking and continuing to feel stressed and overwhelmed by all the clutter.

When you remove things from your home that are no longer necessary or appropriate in your life, you gain clarity. You let go of the past when you let go of things that no longer serve you. You open the way for new opportunities to come to you in life, and allow your life to flow by removing obstructions.

When you declutter and organize your home, think of it as clearing out old, stagnant energy and allowing new, positive energy to enter.

Despite the fact that we know how important it is to remove clutter, it can be painfully difficult to part with our possessions - even the ones that have been stuffed in a box in the corner of a closet for the last year or more.

To help you, here are some questions you can ask yourself as you assess what to release and what to keep:

• Do I use it?
  
• Do I need it?
  
• Does it bring me joy?
• If I lost it, would I seek an exact replica to replace it?
• Does it remind me of happy memories or create positive emotions when I'm near it?
• Would I take it with me if I moved to a new home?
• Will it create pleasure or be useful to my heirs (and if I think it will, am I sure they really want it)?

One final note: If it's broken or irreparably damaged, then throw it out.

By clearing your home's clutter, you can create a more open environment to welcome positive energy that will result in a better life for you and everyone under your roof.

It doesn’t really matter what strategy you use - learning to think about clutter energetically, what you’re keeping, why you’re keeping it, and how it affects you - can help you find the energy and motivation to overcome the clutter in your home.

If you’d like to learn more about how to balance the energy of your home for greater success and harmony, take the online Feng Shui Success course. It gives simple, practical tips for making the energy of your home support you, instead of sabotaging you. Use coupon code fss50 at checkout for $50 off the enrollment price.

Abraham Lincoln famously said “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be,” which is true, but also upsetting for many because they want to feel happier but they just don’t know how

It all sounds very simple when people say “just choose to be happy”, but what does that mean? And what does that look like?

There are people who outwardly appear to be very happy. They are the life and soul of the party, exude high energy, and they may seem to have it all - and yet inside they feel deeply unhappy.

Then there are people who are more quiet and thoughtful. You may not think they look particularly happy, but internally they are very peaceful and content.

I think happiness is deeply personal, and it fluctuates depending on what’s going on in your life.

So perhaps the most important things are to know what happiness means to you and feels like for you, and to know where you are now. Is there room for improvement anywhere or are you completely satisfied with everything as it is?

In this post I’ll share 10 strategies that will help anyone who wants to be able to increase their levels of happiness and well-being.

We all want to be happy. We want to feel good about ourselves, and our life choices. Although sometimes that doesn’t seem to be so easy.

There are many outside influences that affect us, and sometimes we don’t even believe we can be happy or deserve to be.

So instead of simply being able to choose happiness, it can become very complicated.

People often experience challenges like this:

• They have a lot of great things to appreciate in their lives and they want to be happy, but they just aren’t. There’s a feeling that something must be missing.
  

• They feel they can’t be happy when there is so much suffering going on in the world. “How can I be happy when ….. is happening?”
  

• If only … would happen then they would be happy (if only they made more money, lost weight, had the perfect job or the perfect relationship, etc.).
  

• They look to others for their happiness and when those people don’t behave as they expect, they are bitterly disappointed. This could be a partner or spouse, children, family members, etc.
  

• They don’t know how to be happy. Their life experiences have led them to believe that they are not meant to be happy.
  

• There’s a sense that every time things start going well and they start feeling good some kind of disaster will happen to change that.
  

• They are not happy with themselves, and/or are brought down by the criticism and judgment of others who don’t want them to be happy.
  

As you can see, it can be a complex subject and you may not simply be able to increase your feelings of happiness and levels of well-being overnight.

That’s why I want to share these strategies with you. These are all things that will create an immediate shift in your confidence, self-esteem, well-being - and ultimately your levels of happiness.

1. Say Goodbye to Toxic Relationships
   
   Do you know people who are constantly negative, leaving you feeling depressed or stressed after every interaction? There are also people who seem to live in a state of constant chaos and want to pull you into their drama too. There are people who are bullies, who are angry, or who are manipulative.
   
   You can be feeling really content and happy one minute, and feeling terrible the next after being around someone like this.
   
   Sometimes it’s not possible to avoid them completely - you may have a co-worker or even a family member who is like this. If that’s the case, then what you can do is to change how you respond to them. I like to set an intention before interacting with someone like this along the lines of:
   
   “I will not allow this person to manipulate my energy in any way, or to pass their energy onto me.”
   
   Then, I remind myself that their behavior has nothing to do with me. It’s a reflection of what’s going on with them and I don’t need to react or take it on. This works really well.
   
   If at all possible, remove yourself from any toxic relationship. Remind yourself that you deserve better and that you don’t have to tolerate relationships like this.
   
   “If somebody is looking for a bin to throw all their trash into, make sure it’s not in your mind.” - Dalai Lama
   
   
2. Embrace Healthy and Positive Relationships
   
   Who are the positive and supportive people in your life? These are the people you want to spend more time with - people who support, encourage, motivate and uplift you.
   
   If you don’t know where to find these people, you’ll notice that once you take care of yourself by letting go of the toxic relationships you’ll begin to attract more healthy ones.
   
   Pay attention to those people who leave you feeling uplifted and motivated. Know who they are and spend more time with them. A positive attitude can be just as infectious as a negative one.
   
   “You’re the average of all the people who surround you. So take a look around and make sure you’re in the right surroundings.”
   - David Burkus
   
   
3. Release Perfectionism
   
   It’s okay to have high standards and to believe in excellence, but if you try to be perfect all the time at everything, you can never be truly happy. You will put so much pressure on yourself that you will never be able to live up to it, which creates stress and limits your ability to really enjoy life.
   
   As a recovering perfectionist myself, I know this is true. I also discovered that as a perfectionist your intensity and incredibly high expectations (of yourself and others) often make it difficult for others to be around you. People can be intimidated because they feel they will never measure up, that nothing they do will ever be good enough.
   
   As a perfectionist, it’s not that you mean to be hard on everyone around you. You feel you just have very high standards and you can’t understand why everyone else doesn’t just get that. What you don’t realize (as I didn’t) is that your standards are impossibly high. So high that nobody (including you) can ever measure up.
   
   I know from experience that when you let go of the need to do everything perfectly you will feel happier, much more energized and much less stressed. You’ll also find that people will enjoy being around you so much more.
   
   “Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment and blame.” - Brene Brown
   
   
4. Let go of Expectations
   
   This goes with perfectionism -  when you have unreasonably high expectations for yourself, you’ll also have those same expectations for other people, which means you will spend a lot of time feeling disappointed.
   
   There’s nothing wrong with expecting the best of yourself – until those expectations become unreasonable. When your expectations are too high, you are putting too much pressure on yourself and setting yourself up for disappointment and failure.
   
   Your expectations are set by the beliefs that you have. I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” So it’s true that expectations can shape your reality.
   
   Just like most things, expectations can be helpful or not helpful. So it’s important to be aware of the expectations you have and how they are serving you. You may have some unhelpful expectations that you’re not aware of, and they can make life unnecessarily difficult.
   
   It’s particularly important for those of us who are empathic and/or highly sensitive to be aware of and pay attention to our expectations because we tend to have extremely (and often unrealistically) high expectations of ourselves, and therefore of others.
   
   Also, because we see and experience things in a different way, with a lot more sensory input, we may have a tendency to expect that others see and feel what we do, when they don’t (and can’t). This sets us up for massive disappointment.
   
   Other people are not like you, so don’t expect them to be. Releasing your expectations of others and unreasonably high expectations for yourself will allow you to relax and tap into happiness.
   
   As with everything, it comes down to awareness. The more aware you become of your expectations, the more you will be able to see whether they are supporting you or standing in your way.
   
   Where do you have unrealistic and unreasonable expectations for yourself and others and how are they affecting you? When you recognize them you can change them. This doesn’t mean you lower your standards, but it does mean that you stop punishing yourself, or setting yourself up for disappointment.
   
   “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” - Donald Miller
   
   
5. Stop Comparing Yourself
   
   Your job is to be the best you that you can be. That’s it. It doesn’t matter what other people have or what other people do, you are not them.
   
   You will never be truly happy if you are constantly comparing yourself to others because in many ways you’ll feel that you don’t measure up.
   
   Comparing yourself to others will always leave you feeling dissatisfied. It’s a waste of your energy because by comparing you are giving your power away.
   
   Focus on yourself, what you want, and what you need to do for you, rather than on what other people are or are not doing or do or do not have.
   
   If you’re highly sensitive and/or empathic you are one of just 20% of the population. This means that the majority of people are not like you and so comparing yourself to others is really counter-productive. Not many people will have the same sensory perceptions as you or the same levels of empathy, and will not be affected by the same things. If you expect them to, you will be very disappointed and frustrated indeed.
   
   Put your attention on yourself and don’t worry about what others are doing. Things are rarely what they appear to be, and there are always more sides to any story. Yes, things often seem to be unfair and others may seem to have things easier than you  - but instead of focusing on them, focus on you and what you can do to improve things for yourself. I promise you’ll be much happier.
   
   “The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” - Steven Furtick
   
   
6. Do More of What You Love
   
   What brings you joy? What do you love to do so much that time flies when you’re doing it? How can you bring more of this into your life?
   
   You might think that you don’t have time or that you have so many responsibilities that it would be irresponsible to spend time on yourself in this way.
   
   It’s important to find the time - not only for your own happiness, but you’ll find that it will benefit everyone around you as well.
   
   It doesn’t have to be difficult. All you have to do is make sure you schedule regular time to do something that you really enjoy.
   
   Let’s say you enjoy writing - you could set aside some time each day (15 or 30 minutes) or an hour or two each week and just allow yourself to sit and write.
   
   Whatever it is, put it on your calendar. Schedule time for yourself to do something you love. It can be that simple.
   
   Spend more time doing what you love and you’ll naturally feel happier and more energized.
   
   “Do what makes YOU happy. Focus on what brings YOU joy. Appreciate and do more things that make YOU smile. Live your life for yourself. You matter! You count! You’re deserving of true happiness! This is YOUR life. Live it to the fullest! Live life with no regrets.” - Stephanie Lahart
   
   
7. Put Yourself First
   
   Contrary to popular belief, putting yourself first is not selfish. It is if you do it at the expense of others, but making sure that your needs are met means that you will have more positive energy to share with others because you’ll feel good.
   
   If you’re used to putting others first all the time, you will ultimately find your energy becoming depleted. So often we want to help others when we are struggling ourselves and then frustration and resentment can build as we become more and more depleted.
   
   You might think it’s selfish to take care of yourself or put yourself first when others need help, but it’s exactly the opposite. When your needs are met and you feel good, you are able to help others from a place of strength, which means that you can help them even more.
   
   I think this quote sums it up quite nicely:
   
   "You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive nor sick enough to help sick people get well." – Abraham
   
   Stop putting yourself last on the list. Put yourself first and then you’ll have more to give others.
   
   “Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”
   - Parker Palmer
   
   
8. Know Yourself
   
   The Greek philosopher, Aristotle, said “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” It’s true – the most successful people know themselves very well and use that knowledge to their advantage.
   
   How well do you really know yourself? For example:
   
   - What energizes you?
   - What drains you?
   - What makes you feel good?
   - What doesn’t?
   - What brings you joy?
   - What is most important to you?
   
   It’s so helpful to develop extreme self-awareness and to get to know yourself at the deepest levels.
   
   When you know what’s most important to you, have a clear sense of what energizes you and what drains you, and are familiar with your strengths and weaknesses you are less likely to be thrown off-track when difficulties arise.
   
   How do you develop this level of self-awareness? By paying attention to everything you think and everything you feel. When something bothers you, be willing to explore and use the situation to learn more about yourself.
   
   I think the more you know yourself energetically and emotionally, the stronger you become and the less threatened you feel by stressful situations or by other people’s behavior.
   
   The more you know yourself, the more confident, empowered and happier you become, and everyone benefits.
   
   “The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” - Toni Collette
   
   
9. Learn to Embrace Change
   
   If there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s that life is constantly changing. Nothing stays the same forever, no matter how much we might want it to.
   
   The challenges come when you resist change or are afraid of it, because then you will experience more stress and anxiety. When you learn to embrace change and go with the flow of life you open yourself up to more possibilities and more happiness.
   
   It’s the resistance to change that causes us to suffer. I used to be afraid of change, but now I truly embrace it. If things are going to change anyway, it’s much better to focus on what it is that you really want and allow things to change in that direction, rather than clinging to what you know.
   
   I know it can be difficult when change is forced upon you unexpectedly, but even then it’s very likely that, if you don’t resist it, and you look for what’s good about the change, then it will lead you to something better.
   
   Just like the saying “when one door closes, another opens.” How often has an unexpected change come about for you that felt really uncomfortable at the time, but now when you look back you can see it was probably the best thing that could have happened for you?
   
   When you learn to accept and even embrace change, rather than being afraid of it or resisting it, you’ll find there’s a lot less stress in your life, which will allow you to feel much happier.
   
   “Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant.” - Anthony D’Angelo
   
   
10. Allow Others to Help You
    
    How good are you at asking for and receiving help from others?
    
    So often we think we have to do everything ourselves and that it’s a sign of weakness to ask for help, or it means we don’t know what we’re doing.
    
    I used to be terrible at asking for help and I didn’t know how to receive it. Now I know that it’s not weakness to ask for help, it’s actually a sign of strength.
    
    Not only that, I found that people really like to be asked. People feel good when they have an opportunity to help.
    
    How often do you find yourself struggling with something because you don’t like to ask for help? How often are you disappointed when others don’t offer to help you or are not there when you need them?
    
    You must learn to ask for what you want. Don’t expect others to guess or to know what you need. If you learn to ask, you’ll be surprised how often you’ll receive exactly what you need – or perhaps even more.
    
    Sometimes you might not ask because you don’t want to bother anyone, or because you’re afraid they will say no. At least give people the opportunity to say yes. So often we deny people the opportunity to help us because we don’t like to ask for help.
    
    When you try to do everything by yourself and you shut others out you put too much pressure on yourself and you’ll never be able to relax. Other people want to help you, and they will feel good when they do. When you take the pressure off yourself by allowing others to help, you can relax and enjoy life so much more.
    
    “Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you."  - Jim Rohn
    
    
    

What would it be like if you made your happiness a priority? What would it be like if you started each day by setting an intention to do more of what brings you happiness?

Perhaps you already do make your happiness a priority. If you do, I applaud you because you are putting out more positive energy into the world - which is truly needed.

If not, I invite you to consider those questions and allow yourself to bring a little more happiness into your life. Implementing any one of these strategies will make a significant impact on your health, happiness and general well-being. Don’t wait - start today!

Sometimes you might feel you can’t be happier no matter what you do. You want to be happy, but every time things start to improve and you feel better, something happens to pull you back.

In this case, it’s likely that you have invisible emotional energy and emotional pain that’s holding you back. I’ve put together a free min-course sharing the Top 10 Reasons That Energy Holds You Back, which will help you see if this is what’s happening for you.

There are many things that can cause stress, anxiety or even overwhelm.

Something that feels stressful or overwhelming to you might not affect someone else the same way.

Whatever it is that creates anxiety or overwhelm for you, it’s important to know how to recognize and manage it so you can restore your balance and calm.

It’s helpful to have some tools available to use when you do find yourself in a situation that creates anxiety or becomes overwhelming.

This short video shares a simple but powerful technique that will help you feel better, and help you handle any stressful situation.