Knowing yourself… This quote by Aristotle is one of my favorites: “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”

You might think you know yourself very well, until a situation arises that pushes you out of your comfort zone, and you may find yourself responding in ways that you wouldn’t normally.

As many of you know, I love to play tennis, and it’s interesting to observe how people can transform on the tennis court – particularly when they’re not winning or when they’re not playing as well as they want. You’d probably be surprised to see some of the behavior that occurs. People feel a little pressure and any insecurities they feel come out – things they normally keep very well hidden, even from themselves.

I think the more you know yourself energetically and emotionally, the stronger you become and the less threatened you feel by stressful situations or by other people’s behavior. Of course there are several personality tests that can help you understand yourself better, but it’s also helpful to know things like:

• What energizes you, and feels good?
  
• What drains your energy and doesn’t feel good?
• What inspires you?
• What’s most important to you (your values)?
  
• What’s your ‘zone of genius’?
• What is most meaningful to you?
• What pushes your buttons and how do you handle it?

Every stressful situation can tell you something about yourself, and the more you learn, the stronger you feel and the less threatened you are by things you can’t control.

Action Step: Think about the questions above and see what you can learn about yourself from your answers.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

The more I know about myself the stronger and more energized I feel.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Don’t settle… It’s so easy sometimes to be pulled into someone else’s agenda, their way of doing things. And maybe that’s working for you. But when you go along with things that don’t feel right or good to you – then you are settling.

I realized this recently about a particular situation I’ve been experiencing for a while, and I realized that I’d allowed myself to continue with this situation that didn’t feel good at all, because I thought I didn’t really have much choice.

It may seem as though there are no other choices, but if you really think about it I’m sure there are. A different choice may take a bit more effort, but if it means that you’re having a better experience, with people who appreciate you for who you are, rather than who they want you to be, then isn’t it worth it?

When you settle for less than you want or deserve, you’re showing a lack of trust and respect for yourself. That’s the realization I had and I decided I would no longer allow that to happen. If you trust and respect yourself enough, then you won’t settle for anything that doesn’t feel good or for people who don’t treat you well.

Action Step: Think of any situation you’re experiencing that doesn’t feel good.  Recognize that you deserve to feel good and ask yourself: ‘If I trusted and respected myself enough, what would I do differently?” Seek out the people who will support you, and respect you – but first you must trust and respect yourself.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I deserve the best of everything and am no longer willing to settle for anything less. I respect myself and trust myself to find the right way for me.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Master your inner voice… We all have that inner voice – the voice in your head that seems to have a running commentary. Is yours supportive or is it critical?

If you’re like most people, it probably tends to be more critical and judgmental, perhaps even harsh – letting you know that you’re not good enough in some way. You can learn to take control of it though, and turn your inner critic into your inner coach. Here are some thoughts on how to do that:

1. Pay Attention
   Is your self-talk supportive or critical? Notice what ‘the voice’ in your head is saying most of the time. It’s helpful to make a note of any specifics. If it’s critical, you’ll notice things like “that was stupid, why did you do that, why do you always do the wrong thing, what’s wrong with you?” If it’s supportive your inner voice might be saying things like “that didn’t work out as I intended, what can I do differently next time? What do I need to know to help me achieve this?”
   
   
2. Identify Any Fears
   If you find that your inner voice is constantly critical or trying to talk you out of something or telling you that you will fail, challenge it by asking yourself what you are really afraid of. It usually comes down to a core belief that you’re not good enough in some way. Or you may be suffering from imposter syndrome – where you are unable to recognize your accomplishments and live in fear of being exposed as a fraud.
   
   
3. Recognize Unrealistic Expectations
   People who are particularly hard on themselves and who have a highly critical inner voice often have unrealistic expectations that they can never possibly meet, meaning that they set themselves up for failure and therefore criticism. Are your expectations for yourself realistic? Would you expect the same of someone else? If you are really honest with yourself, you may find that you would benefit from adjusting your expectations.
   
   
4. Put More Attention on What is Working
   It’s human nature to think more about what isn’t working and what’s going wrong than on what is working and what’s going well. If you find that your voice is highly critical and unsupportive, try gradually making a shift to thinking a little more about what is working than what isn’t. You’ll start to find that there’s a lot more to feel good about than you thought.
   
   
5. Be Gentle With Yourself
   You are your own worst critic. We all are. Notice when you’re being hard on yourself and make a commitment to treating yourself in a more supportive and constructive way.
   

Action Step: Make a commitment to master your inner voice so that it will support you. Pay attention to your self-talk and be your own cheerleader and coach. You deserve it.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I release the need to criticize or judge myself in any way. I allow my inner voice to support me at all times.

Be Unstoppable

Linda

Releasing negative energy… Have you ever noticed that after you’ve been around a certain person or spoken to them your energy has taken a nosedive? Perhaps you even feel sad or angry, when before you were feeling just fine.

If you are highly sensitive and/or an empath this probably happens a lot. It means that you have absorbed the energy of the other person – usually their emotional pain. Some people (known as energy vampires) make a habit of energetically passing on their pain to others. Then they feel better and you feel worse, because you’ve (unknowingly) taken it on for them. Others may simply take on your good energy to help them feel better, leaving you feeling depleted.

When you’re not aware of it, this can become a real problem. It can accumulate, and you may find yourself taking on the energy of several different people, until you no longer know what is yours and what isn’t. It all feels like yours, yet it seems that no matter what you do nothing helps you feel better. It can become all-consuming until you lose sight of your real self under the weight of other people’s energy and emotions.

This used to happen to me a lot until I learned that this could happen and what to do to release this energy when it does. Here are some strategies for releasing this energy:

1. Acknowledge and release – this sounds too easy and it is. It’s very effective though. The first step is to recognize that you may have taken on someone else’s energy (acknowledge) and then state that you choose to release it and send it back to where it came from (release). You don’t have to know where you picked it up from. Just state that you want to release any energy that is not yours, and that is not serving you.
   
   
2. Visualize – if you’re a visual person it can help to visualize yourself disconnecting (unplugging) from this energy, or visualize it leaving your body – whatever visualization works best for you. It can be helpful to combine this with an affirmation or statement that you are choosing to release it and send it back.
   
   
3. Replace – when you let go of something it’s helpful to replace what you’re releasing with something more positive and helpful. I like to state that as I’m releasing this energy I am replacing it with love. You can visualize yourself disconnecting or unplugging from this energy and plugging into something more positive, such as love, success, or happiness.
   
   
4. Use water – take a shower and imagine the water washing away any energy that is not yours. Or take a bath with Epsom Salts and imagine the same thing.
   
   
5. Go outside – take a walk outside, particularly in a forest or near water and release the energy to the positive forces of nature. Imagine yourself feeling more grounded with each step that you take.
   
   
6. Write – writing can be very cathartic. Write out exactly how you feel, state that you want to release it and send it back and affirm that you will no longer allow yourself to take on other people’s energy.
   
   
7. Intention – if this is something that happens frequently, particularly with people you have to interact with on a regular basis, set an intention before you have an interaction with them that you will not allow your energy to be manipulated or taken and that you will not take on their energy or emotions in any way.

If you’re a ‘helper’ type personality you may find this particularly difficult. As helpers we often believe that we can help someone else by taking on their pain. This doesn’t help them and it certainly doesn’t help you. In fact, you help them more by not taking it on.

Action Step: Start to become aware of whenever you’re taking on other people’s energy. Practice these strategies and take your power back. Don’t allow yourself to be consumed by other people’s energy.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I release any energy that isn’t mine or that doesn’t support me. I return it to where it came from and replace it with love.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

How balanced is your energy? We often hear about energy balance in terms of diet and exercise – focusing on how many calories you take in verses how many calories you burn each day. This is your physical energy. I also like to think of energy balance in terms of mental, emotional and spiritual energy.

When you feel tired and drained it’s often because you are spending lots of mental, emotional and/or spiritual energy, but not replenishing it. We all know that if you don’t take in enough calories, then you won’t have enough physical energy to do what you want to do, and it’s the same with all aspects of your energy. All areas need attention.

Mental energy – for someone who has a tendency to be thinking all the time (like me), it’s important to find ways to relax your mind, to give your brain a break. Meditation is great, but you may find it difficult. If so, perhaps you could try guided meditation, or perhaps something else like walking or playing music would be the best way for you to relax your mind.

Emotional energy – if you’re a caregiver, a ‘helper’ personality, a highly sensitive person, and/or an empath, chances are you feel emotions very deeply. You may feel responsible for the happiness and well-being of others. You may even take on other people’s pain. This will eventually become too much. You must find ways to work through and release any negative emotions that you feel, and find things to feel good about. Writing or journaling are excellent ways, also making sure you have someone to talk to with whom you can share what you’re feeling without being judged is really helpful.

Spiritual energy – this can mean many things to people. What does it mean to you? I see it as a feeling of connection. How you feel about yourself, your connection with others and your place in the world. When you feel separation, and are unhappy with yourself and your life, then it’s time to focus on inner work. Learning to feel good about yourself and not allowing yourself to be negatively influenced or impacted by other people or situations.

To have balanced energy means paying attention to all of these things. Perhaps there’s one you want to focus on more right now, but they are all important.

Action Step: Rate your level of energy balance on a scale of 1-10. If it’s less than 10, ask yourself what you can do to move it up even one point. Make it a priority to address all 4 aspects of your energy.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I give myself permission to thrive. I take the time to ensure that all aspects of my energy are vibrant and balanced.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Losing yourself… Have you ever found yourself hating something that you used to love? A conversation I had this week brought up this question and I thought I’d write about it because it happens often.

What tends to happen is that you begin doing something because you love it. You bring your own unique creativity to it and it’s enjoyable. But after some time you find that you’re not enjoying it any more. It’s become a chore – but something makes you feel that you have to continue doing it. Perhaps eventually you come to hate it so much that you have to walk away.

What happened? I think what often happens is that for a variety of reasons (such as other people’s expectations, the need to make money, or traditional beliefs about the way it ‘should’ be done) you can end up losing sight of what you loved about it in the beginning.

It’s like building a box around yourself by feeling you have to conform to expectations. This can lead to hating something that you initially loved because you’ve lost that uniqueness you brought to it in the beginning.

It’s so easy to get pulled into what others say you should do. It’s so easy to be influenced by others, comparing yourself to others and finding yourself wanting. This is how you lose yourself.

I have found this is particularly true for those who are highly sensitive because HSP’s tend to approach things in a different way from most other people and what makes sense and feels good to them may not feel right to others.

What if you didn’t have to conform? What if your uniqueness is exactly what’s needed? Other people may tell you that you can’t do something in the way that feels right to you, but how can they know? Instead of assuming they must be right consider trusting yourself and re-connecting with what feels right to you.

Action Step: If you’ve lost all sense of enjoyment with something that you used to love, and you feel you’ve lost some important aspect of who you really are, ask yourself why you wanted to do it in the beginning. See if you can reconnect with what drew you to it and why it felt good to you at first. Once you’ve re-connected, ask yourself what changes you might make now to ensure you maintain that connection and not allow yourself to be pulled into other people’s expectations.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I give myself permission to re-connect with what feels right for me and to do things my way. I release the need to lose myself in other people’s expectations.

Be Unstoppable!

I saw this on Facebook recently and thought it would be good to share. Are you up for the challenge?

Action Step: Do at least one of these each day.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I value myself and make self-care a priority every day.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Easy and enjoyable… I used to say that if there was a difficult way to do something, I would find it. Not only that, but I would master it. Would you believe that when I learned to swim I learned to swim underwater first before swimming on top of the water? Don’t ask me why, I have no idea, but my dad (who taught me to swim) will confirm this. He was completely baffled by it.

The one thing I will say about doing things the hard way is that when I finally do accomplish whatever it is, I am fully aware of all the potential obstacles and difficulties and therefore, I can show someone else the best way to do it!

The problem with this approach is that it’s exhausting, it takes so much longer, and it’s not much fun. Oh, and I’ve discovered it’s also unnecessary.

Several years ago I finally learned an important lesson, which is that I can choose a different and much more enjoyable way. All I had to do was choose to do things differently.

Whenever I found myself becoming stressed or overwhelmed by something I asked myself “what is the easiest and most enjoyable way to do this?” And guess what, I started finding the easiest and most enjoyable way to do things. It really can be that simple.

This does not take away anything from the end result, in fact I’ve found that the end result is much better, because the energy I’m putting into whatever I’m doing is much better – there’s no struggle.

Action Step: If you’re struggling with something and would like to give this a try, just start asking yourself: “what’s the easiest, most effective and enjoyable way to do this?” Don’t become stressed if the answer doesn’t come right away, just keep asking the question and you’ll eventually experience a shift.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I am willing to allow more joy and ease into my life. I release the need or desire for struggle.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

How to recharge… What do you do when the battery on your phone is low? Or the battery on your laptop? You recharge it of course.

Now, what do you do when your energy is low – and your batteries need to be re-charged? If you’re like many people, the answer is: you keep going and try to force yourself to do more!

I was reminded of this during a conversation I had yesterday and I thought this was a great example to share.

Your phone’s battery needs time to recharge, and so do you. Yet somehow we seem to have developed this belief that it’s not okay to be tired, or to slow down, or take time for ourselves. Or if we do, then we feel guilty.

Next time you’re feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, remind yourself that you need to recharge. Unfortunately, you don’t come with a cable to plug in, so you have to find ways that work for you. The main thing is to allow yourself to do so without feeling guilty or ashamed.

Those times when you have the most to do and think you absolutely cannot stop are probably the times when you need to recharge the most.

It doesn’t have to take long to boost your energy levels again. Sometimes, a simple 10 minute walk outside can do it, or a soak in a hot bath, or a shower. Or perhaps 20 minutes of yoga, meditation or music.

Sometimes it means saying no to something, or asking for help and allowing others to provide it. Or it could be letting other people do things for you, rather than feeling you have to do everything yourself.

There will always be challenges. There is always a lot to do. Remember to take the time to recharge yourself just like you would your phone.

Action Step: think of your 5 favorite ways to re-energize and re-vitalize yourself. Make sure to incorporate at least one of these into your day – every day.

Let this Unstoppable Question support you on your journey (ask it daily):

What can I do to take care of myself and to feel good today?

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. Nothing affects your energy like your home - when the energy in your home is balanced and harmonious, life flows more easily and you feel much better. Learn how to create positive energy in your home with the Feng Shui Success Course.

When it’s only temporary… What happens when you do something that’s supposed to be temporary, but you find you’re still there several years later?

I received a question from someone last week that reminded me of this, so I thought I’d make it the focus of this week’s tip. I’ve had this experience and I know many others have too.

For example, I’ve worked with people who moved into an apartment or home that was supposed to be temporary – that was 5 or 6 years ago. Also with people who took a job that they didn’t particularly want and don’t love, because they didn’t plan on being there very long. One person I know was in this situation for over 10 years.

What can you do when you really want to move on but you feel trapped?

From my experience people stay stuck where they are because they are resisting it. The key is to accept and make the most of where you are, while at the same time putting some energy towards where you want to be.

When someone moves into an apartment thinking it’s only going to be for about a year, usually they put things in storage, leave things in boxes, and don’t fully move into their space because it’s only supposed to be temporary.

Whenever I worked with someone in this position I encouraged them to unpack the boxes, hang pictures on the walls, and make it feel like home. This will actually help you move on faster than if you leave everything packed. It may seem counter-intuitive – why would you unpack everything if you don’t plan on being there long? But keeping everything packed keeps you in a holding pattern. You are not embracing where you are. You are resisting it and that can keep you stuck.

It’s the same in any other situation. If you have the attitude that you don’t want to be there and only want to move on to something else it’s likely you’ll be there longer than you planned. Instead, do your best to embrace the position and feel as good as you can there. You can still be thinking about, and putting energy into finding the thing that you REALLY want to do, but the energy behind it will be more of: “I accept that this is where I am now and I do my best to embrace it as I also put energy towards what I really want,” instead of “I don’t want to be here, I don’t like it, I want to move on as quickly as possible.”

The energy of acceptance and appreciation will move you forward faster than the energy of resistance and resentment.

Action Step: If there is a situation you want to move out of, but are finding it difficult think about how you could make the most of it and appreciate it now, while still putting some energy towards what you want. Think of it in the same way as “unpacking the boxes” and allowing yourself to feel good about where you are SO THAT you can move on to where you want to be.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I allow myself to feel good about where I am, and know that the better I feel, the more progress I will make. The better I feel, the better it gets.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda