When you don’t enjoy your job - What can you do? When you have to get up every morning and spend your day doing something you don’t enjoy and working with people you don’t like it takes its toll mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
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It’s more common than you might think. You need money to survive and to pay the bills, and very often that’s the only reason you might stay in a job.

Is there a way to make things better? Is it possible to feel better about where you are and the work that you’re doing without having to leave and find another position? Maybe.

Here are some strategies that may help:

Accept – when you fight against your situation you’ll feel even worse. So if you’re staying in a job that you don’t enjoy because you need the money, then you must accept that is the choice you are making. If the money you make there is allowing you to live the lifestyle you want, then that job is providing something of great value. Yes, it’s true that there are things you don’t like about it, and you must accept that too. But if you’re choosing to stay, for whatever reason, accept it.

Examine your choices – you might feel as though you don’t have any choice but to stay where you are, but there are always choices. You may not like the alternative choices, but there are always different options. For example, you could find another job – it may not pay as well, but it is an option. You could do something completely different – yes it might mean that you need to do some training or do something you hadn’t thought of before, but it’s an option. If your living expenses are so high that you’re forced to stay in a job you don’t enjoy, an option may be to find a job somewhere else and move somewhere that’s cheaper. Again, you may not want to do that, but it is another choice you could make. Brainstorm a list of possible choices and you might be surprised to find that there’s something you’d be willing to pursue. If not, it might help you to accept your current situation a little more easily.

Look for positive aspects – can you find one thing that you do like about your job? Can you find more than one? For example, there may be just one thing that you don’t like about your job and many that you do like. Or it might be that the only thing good about it is the regular pay. Whatever it is, remind yourself of the positive aspects and focus on them as much as you can. Look for anything that is good about your current situation.

Find ways to make it even a little better – if the environment is awful and chaotic could you bring something into your workspace that lifts your spirits and helps you feel good. Could you wear headphones and play soothing or inspiring music to help you tune out the chaos around you? Perhaps you could take a break at lunch time and leave the building to re-group, or take regular bathroom breaks to re-balance your energy and breathe. Look for any little things you can possibly do to help you have a better experience at work.

What sometimes happens when someone hates their job is that they will leave and find a new position thinking that will make everything better. Only to find that they are just as unhappy in their new job as they were in the old one. This means that the issue is not with the job – it’s about your expectations and the experience you are allowing yourself to have. The book “Wherever You Go, There You Are,” by Jon Kabat-Zin explains this very well.

Take a look within and see what you can do to change yourself – and then your experiences at work will also change.

Action Step: Write down the aspects of your job that you love and those that you dislike. Focus more on the ones that you love, and ask yourself how you might be able to improve (even a little bit) your experience of those you dislike.

This affirmation will help:

I now allow myself to be paid well, and have positive experiences in my professional life. I deserve the best.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. It can be even more difficult for those who are highly sensitive and/or empathic to find a job that is meaningful and fulfilling and where they feel they can thrive. Many HSPs struggle to survive in jobs they don't enjoy. If this applies to you, CLICK HERE to read my recent article with strategies for HSPs to thrive at work.

A highly sensitive person (HSP) is someone who is more attuned to the environment and people around them. Their brains and nervous systems are wired differently from most people, which gives them the ability to take in a lot more sensory information. Some HSPs also have very high levels of empathy, which means they can physically take on and feel the emotions and pain of others.

Research by clinical psychologist, Elaine Aron (presented in her book, The Highly Sensitive Person) shows that the trait of high sensitivity applies to about 20% of the population.

Because of their differences and their sensitive nature, many HSPs experience difficulty finding and staying in a job that is a good fit for them. Being different from the majority of others at work can cause them to be ostracized, ignored for promotion, or even bullied. The amount of stimulation in a typical work environment can cause a great deal of stress, over-stimulation, frustration and a sense of overwhelm. Their unique trait means they often have tremendous potential, and work harder than their peers, yet they often feel ignored, undervalued and misunderstood.

We all need to earn a living, and it’s a shame that many HSPs have to work in situations that make them so unhappy. If you are an HSP and you are struggling in your professional life, here are some strategies that will help:

1. Know Yourself – before you can expect others to understand you, you must first understand yourself. What are your sensitivities and your abilities? What are your unique talents? What do you particularly enjoy? What conditions enable you to do your best work? For example, do you need absolute quiet? Do you prefer to work alone?
   
   
2. Accept Your Differences – as an HSP you are different from the majority of people. I’m sure you know this already, but you may put a lot of effort into trying to fit in, trying to be like others, and trying to do things the same way as others. This will never work. You are NOT like everyone else. Comparing yourself to others or trying to do things the same way will only cause you more frustration. You feel and see things differently, you do things differently and you know things that others don’t. Don’t expect others to know what you know – they are not receiving the same sensory input that you are, so they cannot know. The simple act of accepting your differences can bring a great sense of peace.
   
   
3. Speak up – I know, this can be difficult for HSPs and for introverted HSPs in particular. You may be hesitant to speak up because you have been criticized in the past for being different. This is because people are afraid of what they don’t understand. They don’t understand you and they simply see you as being different, not only from them, but from most people. They can automatically jump to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with you. It’s up to you to put them straight. Knowing yourself at the deepest level, and accepting who you are – really owning it – will bring you confidence. Begin to speak up with confidence. Find someone (a boss, supervisor, or Human Resources professional) who is open and who will listen to you. Tell them what you need in order to be able to work most efficiently and effectively. Do this in a confident way, and not in a complaining way. Stick to facts. You might even point out that there is a trait known as high sensitivity (just like there is a trait of being extrovert or introvert) and you can refer them to Elaine Aron’s research. When you speak up and ask for what you need, you’ll be surprised at how willing some people may be to listen and do something to help you.
   
   
4. Take Care of Your Energy – because it’s so easy for HSPs to become over-stimulated in a work environment, it’s important to make self-care a priority. There are many things that can help, for example:
   
   - Make sure that your home is your sanctuary, a place where you can re-energize and re-balance yourself;
   
   - Take care of your body by eating fresh, nourishing foods, exercising, and relaxing as much as you need to;
   
   - Take care of your mind, by doing things like spending regular amounts of time alone, making time for prayer, meditation and/or journaling, reading and listening to inspirational messages, etc.;
   
   - Make time for doing things that you enjoy and that are fulfilling to you – this could be at work if your work is very meaningful to you. If it isn’t, then make sure you have something else in your life that has meaning. It could be a hobby, or charity work or self-improvement of some kind;
   
   - Connect with people who understand and support you. This can be difficult for HSPs because you may not personally know anyone else who is like you. There are active communities online, particularly on Facebook, of other HSPs and empaths. These are safe groups where you can share successes and receive input on challenges you’re experiencing. These are people who will understand and listen to you. This is particularly important if you don’t feel accepted and understood at work or at home;
   
   - Make your work environment support you in whatever way you can – even if all you can do is have some plants or pictures of nature in your cubicle, that will help. Use noise-cancelling headphones if you need to and calming/inspiring music if you can. Take regular breaks to calm your mind and your energy. Use essential oils to balance your energy.
   
   
5. Use Your Gifts – there are things that you know are your unique gifts. What are they? Hopefully you have listed these already, from Step 1. Once you know what they are and you accept that you have them, you want to make sure you use them. Nothing stifles your energy more than not using your innate gifts, talents and abilities. Do you have a strong intuition about certain things, do you know things without knowing how or why you know them? Are you someone that people come to for advice or to tell their problems to? All of these things are clues to your unique gifts. Once you identify them, you must use them in some way – this may be at work, or it may be in other ways. These are gifts that make you uniquely you and they need to be used. If you really don’t know what they are, make it your job now to find out, embrace them, and figure out how to use them.

Summary
Elaine Aron, who is the pioneer in this field says: “Someday, we will be so valued, I believe, that organizations will compete for their share of HSPs. Our needs will be met because it will be economically wise to do so.” I think she’s right. Change is coming. Awareness is growing. But until then, we must learn to take care of ourselves.

It is possible for HSPs to thrive in their professional lives, but we can’t wait for other people to know what we need and help us thrive. We have to take the lead. We have to help them to help us. People will understand what we’re really capable of, and see that we’re not a threat. When people see we have a great deal to offer, we will be fully accepted. That’s when organizations will start competing for their share of HSPs. It’s up to us.

These strategies will help you thrive both professionally and personally. This is a great place to start.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. I've put together a Resource Guide for HSPs with 10 of my favorite books and other helpful tools. These have been so helpful for me, and I hope they will be for you too. If you'd like to download the Resource Guide, just click on the button below. You will be asked for your email address so I can send it to you - and because of the anti-spam laws you'll be asked to confirm - but I think you'll agree that it's worth it.

Myth busting… What things do people believe about you that are completely untrue? If you think about it you’ll probably be able to come up with a few things. For example, I tend to think a lot, and am quiet – so people assume that I’m upset or there’s something wrong. When I was younger, people were often telling me to cheer up – which confused me greatly, because I wasn’t upset at all, just deep in thought.

We sometimes think things must be a certain way based on what we’ve been taught, based on cultural conditioning, and often based on appearances, which are often misleading.

It may be that these myths don’t affect you that much, but sometimes, it’s helpful to put the record straight on a few things. Here are a few common myths that we need to revise:

• Introverts are timid and shy.  Not necessarily. Introverts just don’t like being around lots of people. But if you get them in the right environment, with the right people, on the right topic, they are anything but timid and shy.
  
  
• Extroverts don’t need alone time. Yes they do, particularly highly sensitive and empathic extroverts. Because they enjoy being around people and can talk to anybody, the assumption is usually that they want to be around people all the time, but this is not necessarily the case.
  
  
• People who have material wealth are always happy. Often they are, but just as often they’re not. There are many people who, on the surface seem to have it all wealth, status, fame, material possessions, but they feel empty and alone. The point is, you can be happy with or without the material stuff – that’s not what makes you happy and appearances are often misleading.
  
  
• There is one definition of success. The general understanding seems to be that if you have a certain amount of money, live in a certain type of home, drive a certain car, look a certain way, weigh a certain amount, then you are successful. Success means different things to different people. If you want to be successful and fulfilled, it’s up to you to define what that looks like for you, rather than trying to fit in to someone else’s version of success.
  
  
• We should have all the answers. We’ve been conditioned to believe that we have to figure everything out, and that if we don’t then somehow there’s something wrong with us. Instead of learning to trust our inner guidance and wisdom, we’ve been taught to trust only our minds. It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s enough to take one step at a time and to trust your inner judgment.
  
  
• High sensitivity is a disorder. Being highly sensitive is a trait – just like being introverted or extroverted is a trait. It is not something that needs to be fixed. The scientific term for being highly sensitive is ‘Sensory Processing Sensitivity,’ which simply means that we take in more information through our senses than most people. There is also ‘Sensory Processing Disorder,’ which is a neurological disorder in which the sensory information that the individual perceives results in abnormal responses. There is a big difference between the two.

When we buy into these myths they can cause us to behave in ways that don’t serve us, or others.

Action Step: What myths are you aware of that you wish other people truly understood? Write a list and share it with me and we’ll see if can’t do a little myth busting.

I think this quote from John F. Kennedy sums it up quite well:

“The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.”

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

P.S. I recently wrote an article on 5 Myths About Highly Sensitive People. CLICK HERE if you’d like to read it!

A highly sensitive person is someone who tends to be attuned to their surroundings. They are often intuitive and empathic, have a keen imagination and may feel very overwhelmed by noise, chaos and crowds. They can have trouble fitting in and have been perceived as “too shy” or “too sensitive.”

It is estimated that approximately 20% of the population is highly sensitive. The term is becoming more well-known, particularly since Elaine Aaron published her books ‘The Highly Sensitive Person’ and ‘The Highly Sensitive Child.’

Many people object to the term ‘highly sensitive’ because it is often thought of as being a bad thing. Some prefer terms like highly attuned or highly aware, since those terms don’t carry the negative connotation of being ‘overly sensitive.’

It can be difficult for most people to understand or relate to highly sensitive people. I think that’s mostly because we don’t really understand ourselves. I certainly didn’t for most of my life. Because we were seen as being different from everyone else when we were growing up, other people, particularly our parents and family, didn’t know how to relate to us. A highly sensitive person often tries very hard to fit in but is unable to do so, and so they conclude that there must be something wrong with them. We’re often told things like “you’re too sensitive;” “get over it;” “you’re being childish, grow up;” and, my personal favorite “don’t be so stupid.” As if when we say that we are uncomfortable in certain situations or don’t want to do certain things, we’re just being difficult.

If you are highly sensitive or know someone who is, these tips might help you have a better understanding about what it means:

1. We’re not delicate. Being sensitive simply means that we are more tuned in to the environment and to the people around us. We pick up on things that most others do not. We notice things. It doesn’t mean that we will fall apart if you are direct and honest with us (in fact we prefer it because then we know where we stand with you). It also doesn’t mean that we’re going to burst into tears at the slightest thing.
   
   
2. There’s nothing wrong with us. We are not broken. We do not need fixing. We are just different. We don’t often enjoy the same things that many others enjoy – and this isn’t just in our heads, it’s a physical thing. We actually feel physical symptoms that are uncomfortable in response to things like: noise, fluorescent lighting, smoke, perfumes, chemical smells, crowds, chaotic environments, and so on.
   
   
3. We are not unsociable, nor do we think that we’re better than everyone else. Those who are highly sensitive and also introverts can respond to over-stimulation by withdrawing and becoming quiet. We may decline to join you at a bar or an event where there are lots of people, not because we’re unsociable, but because we know we wouldn’t enjoy it and we would suffer afterwards. We know, from experience, that it can take us days to recover from such over-stimulation.
   
   
4. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts, and vice versa. There are people who are extroverted and yet also highly sensitive. The difference is that an introverted HSP will tend to withdraw when experiencing over-stimulation, while an extrovert may lash out and become aggressive or angry. Although again, this depends on the person, not all extroverted HSP’s will act this way.
   
   
5. It’s easy to think that HSP’s might not thrive in leadership positions. The opposite is true. They can thrive (although they may not always want to). In fact, HSP’s make great leaders because they can be more in-tune with the other members of their team and have a wider perspective. They also tend to pick up on things that others might miss – such as emotions, body language, and facial expressions - because they are so highly aware.

There’s no doubt about it, being highly sensitive can be difficult. But those difficulties are greatly reduced and your sensitivities can be turned into great strengths once you fully understand and own who you are. It’s easy to think there must be something wrong with you when you are not the same as the majority of other people. But being different is not a problem, it’s a gift. Learn who you are and when challenging situations come up, help others to understand. Don’t expect them to automatically know, you must help them – and know how to help yourself.

Not sure if you're highly sensitive? Want to know how sensitive you are? Take this simple Sensory Processing Self-Assessment to find out.

Things are not what they seem… I was talking to someone recently who was wondering why it is that ‘bad’ people seem to do so well when ‘good’ people struggle.

 Her point was that people who are rude, uncaring and selfish seem to get ahead, while those who are considerate, empathic, and focused on helping others seem to struggle.

It certainly can seem this way, although, what I know now, after years of working with all kinds of people, is that appearances can be very deceptive. There’s always a lot more going on behind the scenes than you know and the more I thought about it, the more some really good points came to the surface that were helpful for me to consider, and so I thought I would share them with you.

1. When people are rude and hurtful to others, it’s usually a way of dealing with their own deep pain. It can be an attempt to make themselves feel better by passing on some of their pain. True – that’s not a good thing to do, but sometimes when you’re in that much pain, you’ll do anything to ease it.
   
   
2. People who are selfish and only think of themselves can actually teach us something. If you’re someone who never takes care of yourself, and is always focused on others at the expense of yourself, selfish people come into your life to show you that putting yourself last is not healthy. As an empath and an Enneagram number Two (the Helper) this was a lesson I had to learn for myself (am still learning). Putting yourself first actually allows you to do more for others – it is the opposite of selfish.
   
   
3. Often we see people who seem to ‘have it all,’ and this may make us feel somewhat inadequate or lacking But you don’t know what’s really going on in their life. People who are focused only on outer success are often very lonely and dissatisfied. They often struggle with relationships – I know several people who are very successful financially and in business yet they struggle with relationships and they are unhappy. They have the success but don’t feel fulfilled.
   
   
4. Comparing yourself to others will always leave you feeling dissatisfied. It’s a waste of your energy because by comparing you are giving your power away. Focus on yourself, what you want, and what you need to do for you, rather than on what other people are or are not doing or do or do not have.
   
   
5. You never know what’s really going on for somebody else if you are not living their life and walking in their shoes. Assumptions can be very dangerous, and you really cannot go by appearances alone.
   
   
6. If you’re highly sensitive and/or empathic you are one of just 20% of the population. This means that the majority of people are not like you and so comparing yourself to others is really counter-productive. Not many people will have the same sensory perceptions as you or the same levels of empathy, and will not be affected by the same things. If you expect them to, you will be very disappointed and frustrated indeed.

I think the message is clear. Put your attention on yourself and don’t worry about what others are doing. Things are rarely what they appear to be, and there are always more sides to any story. Yes, things often seem to be unfair and others may seem to have things easier than you  - but instead of focusing on them, focus on you and what you can do to improve things for yourself. I promise you’ll be much happier.

Action Step: Make a note of any situation or person that is bringing up feelings of resentment in you. What is it about that person or situation that is upsetting to you? What is that telling you about you and are you willing to let it go?

This affirmation will help:

I release the need or desire to be concerned with what others are doing or to compare myself with anyone else. I give myself permission to focus on my own needs.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. If you're really ready to free yourself not just from comparing to others, but from all the thoughts and beliefs that stand in the way of your own success and inner peace, check out the 30 Day Change Your Thoughts Challenge. It's a course that will change your life and make everything easier!

The power of gratitude and appreciation – It’s Thanksgiving here in the U.S., and it’s a time when people stop to think about what they are thankful for. It’s even better when we take the time to do this regularly, rather than just once a year.

Here are 2 inspirational quotes that sum up the power of regularly expressing gratitude and appreciation:

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” – Zig Ziglar

“Every morning when I open my curtains for that first look at the day, no matter what the day looks like – raining, foggy, overcast, sunny – my heart swells with gratitude. I get another chance.” – Oprah Winfrey

Action Step: Make a list of: 10 things you feel grateful in your life right now; 10 things you appreciate about yourself; 10 things you appreciate about your body; 10 people you are grateful to have around you. Keep this list near you and refer to it regularly.

Here’s an Unstoppable Affirmation to help you:

As I look for things to appreciate about myself and my life, I receive more and more things to be grateful for.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

When you hold yourself back… There are many ways that we hold ourselves back, and many reasons why we do it. It’s often not a conscious thing – you don’t intend to hold yourself back, but somehow you just do.
    
If you’re tired of holding yourself back and would love to stop, you first have to recognize what’s going on – Dr. Phil always says you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. So you can really only stop holding yourself back if you’re aware that you’re doing it and how you do it. It could be any of the following:

• You do what other people expect you to do, rather than what you really want to do.
• You try to please everybody.
• Your expectations and standards for yourself are unrealistically high and you feel that nothing you ever do is or could be good enough.
• You don’t take care of yourself.
• You don’t know what you really want.
• You’re not in alignment with what you really want.
• You constantly criticize yourself.
• You’re afraid of failing.
• You Compare yourself to others.

Once you are aware of how and when you tend to hold yourself back, you can change it. I don’t think you always have to know the reason why you’re holding yourself back. There can be many reasons why. I think the most important thing is to identify what you’re doing and how, and then be WILLING to change it. Even if you don’t know how to change it, being willing is the first step.

Action Step: Identify any ways and situations where you are holding yourself back and ask yourself if you’re ready and willing to stop.

This affirmation will help:

I am now ready and willing to release anything that is holding me back in any way from living the life I truly want and deserve.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

When expectations get in the way… Your expectations are set by the beliefs that you have. I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” So it's true that expectations can shape your reality.

Just like most things, expectations can be helpful or not helpful. So it’s important to be aware of the expectations you have and how they are serving you. You may have some unhelpful expectations that you’re not aware of, and they can make life unnecessarily difficult.

It’s particularly important for those of us who are empathic and/or highly sensitive to be aware of and pay attention to our expectations because we tend to have extremely (and often unrealistically) high expectations of ourselves, and therefore of others. Also, because we see and experience things in a different way, with a lot more sensory input, we may have a tendency to expect that others see and feel what we do, when they don’t (and can’t). This sets us up for massive disappointment.

Here are some examples of expectations that can get in the way:

Life should always be fair – it would be nice if this were true. Unfortunately, things often happen that are not fair. The more you hold on to the unfairness of something that’s happened, the more stuck and frustrated you will feel.

Other people have the same values and integrity as you – I’m sure that by now you’ve experienced the fact that this is not true. Yet sometimes we hold onto the expectation. I am reminded of this consistently when I play tennis. For some people, winning is everything, and they will employ any and all tactics (including distractions and gamesmanship) to ensure that they have the best chance of winning. This doesn’t feel right to me – but do those people care? They don’t. If I hold onto this expectation the only person who is affected is me.

Other people have the same empathy as you – they won’t and in many cases can’t. If you’re an empath, the majority of people can never understand and feel the same way you do. Holding onto this expectation will not only continue to disappoint and upset/frustrate you, but it will also affect many of your relationships.

Other people know what you’re thinking/feeling – we often have the expectation that those closest to us should understand exactly what we’re feeling and know if/when we need help and support, particularly if you are very sensitive to the needs and emotions of others. The reality is that very often (if not most of the time) they don’t. Again, if you are highly sensitive/empathic, it’s highly likely that they won’t – unless they are also highly sensitive. I have found that people really appreciate it when you don’t assume they know, but instead you learn to let them know what you’re feeling and ask for what you need.

You can help everyone  or change someone – not everybody wants to be helped, and it’s not your responsibility to take on the problems of others. If someone doesn’t want to change or doesn’t see that they need to, then nothing you say or do will persuade them otherwise. If someone does come to you because they have a problem and they need help, you can support and guide them through it, but the change has to come from within them. There is only one person you can change, and that is you. Holding onto this expectation can leave you feeling exhausted.

These are just some of the expectations that can get in the way. Keep in mind that highly sensitive and empathic people often have many other unrealistic expectations as well, such as: that other people should understand you, people should automatically know and respect your boundaries, or that you should try to fit in and be like everyone else.

As with everything, it comes down to awareness. The more aware you become of your expectations, the more you will be able to see whether they are supporting you or standing in your way.

Action Step: Think of a situation (or person) that is particularly frustrating to you right now. Think about your expectations for this person or situation and ask yourself if your expectations supporting or hurting you. Do you need to adjust your expectations in some way?

This affirmation will help:

I am now willing to release all expectations of myself and others that do not support me.

Be Unstoppable!

P.S. Join me for a special end of year Master Class on November 15th, the title is What You Need to Know to Go From Stuck to Unstoppable: 3 Crucial Steps For Allowing Success in Your Life. Find out more by clicking on the button below.

If you’re an empath… Being an empath means that you not only identify with what other people are feeling, you can also take it on, so you feel what they're feeling. This can be  a great gift, and it can also be a huge challenge.

You know that your thoughts and your feelings/emotions determine the level of your energy vibration. So the better you feel, and the more positive and uplifting your thoughts are, the higher your vibration, which means that you will attract more to feel good about. The opposite is also true – when you don’t feel good and your thoughts are based in fear, anxiety, guilt, etc., the lower your vibration is, which means you’ll attract people and situations with a similar vibration.

Obviously then, it’s important to take care of your vibration, by taking care of your energy, your feelings, and your thoughts – which is what these weekly tips are all about. This can be challenging for anybody, but it can be particularly challenging for empaths because how do you know what’s yours and what you’ve picked up from someone else?

Without awareness, an empath can take on the physical pain and emotions of other individuals. When this happens, it seems as though the pain and emotions are your own. It can cause a great deal of confusion and frustration when you attempt to release it, because to truly let it go, you have to recognize that it’s not yours. As an empath, you need to be aware of this whenever you are around other people – particularly large groups of people.

But there’s another source of pain and emotions that empaths are vulnerable to that’s not often mentioned – and that is the collective consciousness. Empaths can pick up and be impacted by the energies of the collective consciousness, just as they do with an individual, but it can be even stronger and more difficult to recognize and release.

It’s hard not to be impacted and feel sad and upset by the traumatic events that happen in the world. From natural disasters to wars and shootings, there’s a lot to feel sad about. However, for an empath the feelings are much deeper and stronger. You can be so deeply affected by these events that it becomes difficult to function.

Once again, it’s important to recognize what’s happening. When you notice that you feel this way and it becomes very difficult for you to let it go, it’s important to find strategies to help you, so you don’t remain stuck in a downward spiral of negative emotion, and even physical pain. Here are some strategies that can help:

• First, ask yourself if what you’re feeling is yours, someone else’s, or due to world events (collective consciousness). If you felt good before you encountered a certain person or group of people, or heard some traumatic news, it’s most likely the discomfort you’re feeling is coming from someone/somewhere else. This awareness is very helpful.
  
  
• Go outside. Being in nature is one of the most grounding things you can do. Going for a walk outside, or simply being out in nature is very therapeutic. Particularly if you are around trees and/or water.
  
  
• Go for an energy treatment. Whether it’s Reiki, Pranic Healing, Sound Healing, Breathwork, or some other energy modality, or a simple massage, this can do a lot to re-balance your energy.
  

• Exercise. If you have a favorite form of exercise, it can be very helpful for releasing unwanted energy and re-balancing/re-grounding yourself.
  
  
• Immerse yourself in water. Have an Epsom salt bath, to which you may want to add some calming therapeutic essential oils, such as lavender.
  
  
• Write about it. Writing can be extremely therapeutic, and is a great way to release any stressful thoughts. Putting them down on paper helps to release these thoughts and emotions from your body.
  
  
• Prayer and Meditation are also very helpful for calming your mind and body and surrendering what you’re feeling.
  
  
• Talk about it. Sometimes just talking about what you’re feeling with someone who will simply listen can be just what you need. Perhaps you just need to vent and let out your frustration. Don’t let it turn into a pity party though. The purpose is to release what you’re feeling, rather than holding onto it.
  

These are some ideas for maintaining your energy balance. If you have any other favorite techniques, I’d love to hear them.

Action Step: Next time you find yourself suddenly being taken over by strong emotions, identify what’s yours and what isn’t so you can more effectively release and move on.

This affirmation will also help:

“I am now willing to release and clear all negativity and stress from my body.”

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

When you’re stuck in worry mode… you may know that it is counter-productive, and yet it can be so easy to stay stuck in the pattern of worrying. Some people are more prone to worry than others and it can be very difficult to move out of it, even when you know it’s not helping.

The key to breaking the worry cycle is self-awareness. Here are some strategies to help you identify what’s really going on and break free from unhelpful worry:

• First, ask yourself if you have any control over the thing you’re worrying about. If the answer is yes, then identify at least one action that you can take right now to address the situation.
  
  
• If the answer is no – you don’t have any control over it, ask yourself why you are putting energy into something you have no control over. Is this something you want to put your energy into? What can you do to help yourself to feel even a little bit better about the situation?
  
  
• Identify when the worry started. What was happening in your life and how were you feeling before you started to worry? When you start really paying attention to this, you may find that when things are going well in your life and you’re feeling good, all of a sudden you start to worry about something. This is your past programming and conditioning kicking in – it means you’re in the process of moving beyond what you learned was possible for you and your programming says “Wait a minute, you can’t be this happy, things can’t go this well, there must be something wrong, so let’s find something to worry about.” You’ve reached what Gay Hendricks (in his book The Big Leap) calls ‘The Upper Limit Problem.’
  
  
• Relaxation techniques, such as meditation, yoga, deep breathing, walking in nature, etc., will help your mind and body to calm down. When you feel calmer you are more open to solutions coming to you.
  
  
• Turn your negative ‘what if’s’ into positive ones. For example – “what if this doesn’t work?” can be turned into “what if this works really well?” or “what if I don’t know how to do it right?” can be turned into “what if I have everything I need to be able to do this?” This is one of my favorite techniques because it’s so effective.

The most important thing is to become more aware of your thoughts, of how you feel, of when you start to worry, about what triggers the worry, what was happening before, and so on. Awareness really is the key to turning things around.

Action Step: Take an inventory of anything you are currently worried about. Ask yourself what each worry is really about. Learn as much as you can about it - your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc. Become aware of any patterns and decide if this is where you want your energy to go.

This affirmation will help:

“I release the need to worry and choose to channel my energy and thoughts in ways that are positive and supportive.”

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. If you haven't read The Big Leap yet, I highly recommend it. It's been one of my favorite books for several years, and one I refer to often.