Being open to pleasant surprises – how often have you planned something, but then the unexpected happens and it doesn’t turn out as you thought it would or your plans are derailed?

This happened to me last week, and when it happened, I was aware that there was a part of me that wanted to be upset about it, to have a bit of a meltdown and complain because I had these plans in place for a year and this wasn’t what was supposed to happen.

The nice thing was that there was a larger part of me that knew better. That knew being upset and having a meltdown would only make me feel worse and wouldn’t help anything. This part of me knew that all I had to do was relax into what was happening, surrender control and allow things to unfold.

And everything worked out beautifully. No, it wasn’t what I had planned, but I had a very positive and enjoyable experience. The worst things I could imagine that could have happened didn’t. I was fine. The situation worked out just fine (only different). I coped very well, even though a part of me was afraid I wouldn’t be able to.

 There are several helpful takeaways from this experience:

1. Things don’t always turn out as we planned or hoped, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
   
2. There is always the voice of doubt and panic, and the voice of calm and certainty and we get to choose which one we listen to.
3. When you surrender and allow yourself to go with the flow you can end up having a positive experience.
4. You may just surprise yourself and be capable of more than you thought.
5. Sometimes it’s nice to let go of control and allow yourself to be surprised.

It’s not that I didn’t really know these things before, but knowing and really experiencing are two different things. I learned a lot about myself from this experience.

So often we think we have to control everything and if things don’t work out exactly as we think they should then there’s something wrong. If you are a highly sensitive person and/or an introvert (like me), you probably over-analyze situations and because things can get so overwhelming for you, there is more of a need to try to control things.

You may also think that it’s impossible to change and ignore that critical inner voice that makes you want to become angry and frustrated – I promise you, it isn’t impossible, as this experience showed me.

Action Step: Think of a situation that’s not as you would like it to be. Tune in to the voice of resistance (this shouldn’t be happening) and the voice of surrender (it is happening so let’s lean into it and go with the flow). Which one are you giving more energy to? Can you give more energy to the voice of surrender and let yourself be pleasantly surprised?

Let this unstoppable affirmation support you on your journey (it’s one of my favorites, from Louise Hay):

Out of this situation, only good will come, for the Highest good of everyone. I am safe. All is well.

Be Unstoppable.

Linda

Talk about your joys… I saw a quote recently that I really like:

“Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys.”

It’s so easy to focus on what’s going wrong, rather than on what’s going right isn’t it? What could happen if we change that?

We know through the Law of Attraction that we attract what we focus our attention on, so it stands to reason that if we put our energy and attention on what feels good, then we’ll receive more of what feels good.

Action Step: For the next week, catch yourself every time you find yourself thinking about or talking about a problem. Notice it, and make a conscious effort to change the conversation to something that feels good.

Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I now choose to focus my energy and attention on things that feel good to me. I deserve to feel good.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Setting intentions… I think we often underestimate just how helpful and powerful intentions can be. As I was searching for a description for intentions, I came across this one from mindfulminutes.com:

“An intention is a guiding principle for how you want to be, live, and show up in the world—during meditation, yoga or any area of your life.”

I also like this description from meditation teacher Kelsey Patel:

“Setting an intention is activating a part of your receptivity.”

When you take a few moments to set an intention before you start your day, at the beginning of  your week, at the beginning of the month or the year, the payoff can be huge.

But we also forget that we can set intentions for the ‘little’ things every day. For example, I think we all dread having to make calls to customer service or something similar. You’ve probably had the experience of being put on hold for hours and when you do reach someone they are not helpful at all.

What if you took a few moments to set an intention before you made the call – that you would easily reach the right person and that person would be courteous and helpful, and you would receive the answers you need?

Start setting intentions for the little things – for example, if you have to drive to work, your intention might be to have a joyful experience of driving to work.

I see intentions as creating a positive inner experience for myself. Think of it as setting yourself up to succeed, to have more positive experiences, and to feel good. Remember also to express gratitude for the experiences you attract. That’s all part of the intention-setting process.

Action Step: Think of something you’re not looking forward to or even dreading – perhaps something you have to do, or someone you have to speak with. Now, set an intention that this situation will go well, that you will feel good, that only good will come out of this situation for everyone involved. Set the intention that you will have a positive experience and that it will be better than you initially thought.

If you feel like sharing, I’d love to hear of your experiences with this. Let this Unstoppable Affirmation support you on your journey:

I recognize the power of setting intentions and am learning to use them daily to set myself up for success.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. If your intentions are not working for you, or you feel you could use some guidance with making things happen, contact me and request a complimentary 15-minute, laser focused Get Unstuck Session - to help bring you clarity and focus.

The energy of your possessions – In my recent FB Live broadcast Lisa and I talked about mindful Spring cleaning and the importance of being aware of the energy in your work and home environments. Continuing this theme, I thought it would be helpful to talk about how you are affected by the things you surround yourself with.

The things you have in your home and work space are not simply inanimate objects. Your possessions are alive with energy and with your memories and associations. They have an energetic connection to you, which means they have a direct impact on your own energy – on how you feel, on your emotions, and your sense of well-being, and they influence your ability to move forward or stay stuck.

It’s vital then that you understand the energy of the things you are choosing to surround yourself with. Here’s a simple exercise to help you.

Pretend that you’re going to be moving house. Start with one room and take a good look around at everything that’s there. Touch each item, and as you do so, allow yourself to re-connect with the energy of the item and what it means to you. Be aware of any memories and associations. Be aware of how you feel about this item and why you are keeping it.

Action Step: As you connect with each item, here are some things to consider:

• Do you love it?
  
• Do you need it?
• Do you use it?
• Does it bring you joy?
• Does this item represent who you are now, or who you want to be?
• If the answers to the above questions are no – ask yourself why you’re keeping it.
• What memories and associations does it hold for you?
• Are the memories and associations positive or negative?
• If you were moving house is this something you would definitely want to take with you?

This exercise is not only about getting rid of stuff, which hopefully you will do. It is also about really understanding the energy of what you are surrounding yourself with and how it is affecting you. Of course, once you do this you may feel the need to let some things go because you recognize that they are not serving you any longer, and if you do, that will boost your energy even more.

Let this unstoppable affirmation support you on your journey:

I now choose to surround myself only with things that I love, that support me and feel good to me. I am willing to release anything that no longer serves me.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. Having trouble getting rid of stuff? Request a complimentary 15-minute 'Get Unstuck' session with me and together we'll create a plan for how you can move forward. Use the Contact Form to request a session and I will be in touch to schedule your session.

Thoughts on life balance – today’s tip is inspired by a question that was asked last week by one of the members of our Highly Sensitive Professionals Facebook group. Since it’s something that many people wonder about, I thought it was a great question to answer here:

"My craft room table has been piled with stuff for weeks. I never seem to have the time to put anything away. The entire house is always pretty disorganized, actually. I feel like I need to figure out how to have work - family - "me time" balance, but it doesn't seem possible to achieve. Any thoughts?"

From my own experience, I think that work, family, me-time balance may seem hard to achieve for several reasons, such as:

• Unrealistically high expectations
• Trying to do too much/feeling pulled in many directions
• Perfectionism
• Lack of clarity on what this balance could look like for you
• Putting everyone else’s needs before your own
• Not knowing what’s most important to you
• Spending time on things that are not meaningful (such as a job you don’ enjoy) which leads to frustration and exhaustion

I think work/life balance looks different for each person. What feels balanced to me may not seem balanced to you. So first of all, I think it’s important to let go of any concept of what it ‘should’ look like and identify what would feel good and balanced to YOU.

The disorganization you’re experiencing in your home is a reflection of your own inner lack of clarity. I know because, as I shared in the HS Professionals group, I struggled for years with a messy desk. Whenever I would clear it, soon afterwards the piles would begin to form again. Now my desk has been ‘pile-free’ for 5 months – the longest amount of time ever. What changed?

Well, it wasn’t that I suddenly developed new organizational skills. What I know is that it is the result of my continual inner work, and me becoming clearer and clearer on what’s most important to me, what I want to put my energy into and what I don’t. My desk before was the result of lack of clarity around my work, it is now a reflection of my renewed clarity around my work.

So, to break it down into some manageable steps – I think when you focus on these things, the clutter and disorganization starts to disappear, and you begin to feel a greater sense of work/life balance:

• Know what is most important to you – what energizes you, what drains you, what do you enjoy spending time doing the most? What are you putting your energy into that you don’t enjoy? Getting clear on this makes it easier to say no to the things that will drain your energy.
  
  
• Release and make room – start releasing things that don’t feel good to you to make room for things to do feel good to you.
  
  
• Make your well-being your priority – this is a big one, but it starts with recognizing what expectations you have for yourself, being kinder to yourself, scheduling time for things that you enjoy and not letting anything get in the way of that.
  
  
• Learn to say no and set boundaries – I know this is sometimes easier said than done, but you can never have any sense of balance in your life when you are pulled into other people’s agendas.
  
  
• Release toxic people – if you can’t release them, then at least spend less time around them and don’t give them any energy to feed their negativity.
  
  
• Set your own definition – the idea of life balance is different for everyone. Basically, I think it means that you’re spending time doing the things that are most important to you, you feel good and you don’t feel you ‘should’ be doing something else or that you’re letting people down. Once you eliminate what doesn’t feel good, and focus on what does feel good, you start to feel a greater sense of balance, because you’re putting your energy into things that you want to.

As you can see, this is an ongoing process, not something you’ll achieve overnight, but as you focus on these things you’ll notice things start to improve. You can use your environment to help you if you tackle any disorganization with these things in mind. If it feels overwhelming, then you can make it more manageable by doing things like:

• Take 2 containers – one for things to throw away, the other for things to donate and every day add just one thing to a container. Commit to just one thing each day and it will soon make a difference.
  
  
• Start with one small area (like a drawer or a cabinet, or your desk) and clear that. Once that’s accomplished you can move onto another small area another day, again, you’ll soon start to see progress.
  
  
• Recognize that it’s not just about organizing things. As you are clearing things in your environment, you are clearing on an inner level as well and vice versa. If you don’t do the inner work, then no matter how well you organize, things will become disorganized again eventually.

I could talk a lot more about this, and I’ve tried to keep it as short as I can while still giving you information you can use.

Action Step: Identify what’s most important to you (for example, family, your job, your health and well-being). Now think about how you spend your time and energy each day right now. How much of your energy is going into the things that are most important to you? What needs to change?

Let this affirmation support you on your journey:

Every day, as I release the people and things that do not contribute to my highest good and well-being, my life becomes more balanced and joyful.

Be Unstoppable

Linda

You’re not alone…why is it that so often we think we have to do things alone and figure everything out by ourselves? I think sometimes people may feel if they need help somehow it means that they are weak or needy or not capable. There’s also very often a fear of becoming dependent on others. Then of course there’s ‘superwoman syndrome.’

I clearly remember how difficult it used to be for me to accept help. Mainly it was because I didn’t want to bother anyone else, or be a burden to others. I thought it was a sign of weakness if I couldn’t do something by myself.

The biggest thing that changed my mind was when a friend lovingly pointed out to me that I was denying someone the opportunity to do something that felt good to them. By letting someone help me, I was actually also helping them. What a revelation!

I have since learned that asking for help and allowing yourself to receive it is a sign of strength, rather than weakness. It can also be just as good for the person helping as it is for me. It doesn’t mean that I’m not capable.

When you’re struggling or suffering, it’s okay to reach out and ask for help and allow yourself to receive it. You don’t have to have all the answers. Perhaps someone else can see something in you or in your situation that you can’t see. How will you know if you don’t ask?

Action Step: Think of something you’re struggling with or something that is causing stress. Think of someone you can reach out to for comfort, support, guidance or help. (If you can’t think of anyone, then write it down in an email to me). Allow yourself to receive the support that you need.

Let this affirmation support you on your journey:

“I know I’m not alone and I gratefully ask for and receive all the help and support that I need.”

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

When you feel overwhelmed… This is something that’s come up for a lot of people lately, so I thought it would make a good topic for today’s tip.

I can remember a time when I used to have a huge to-do list and I was pulled in many different directions by many different people. It didn’t feel good. That was a long time ago – what changed?

The more I learned about energy, the more I realized that it came down to what I was putting my energy into. Or what I was willing to put my energy into. As a Helper personality type, I frequently allowed myself to be pulled into other people’s crises, problems and agendas, until I began to identify what was most important to me.

It really comes down to a few things:

1. Identify what is most important to you and what is not
   
2. Remove your energy from what is not important – you’ll need to learn to say no and to set boundaries
3. Put your energy only into what is important and what feels good to you
4. Your well-being should be highest on your list of what’s important to you
5. When you say you want or need something and it shows up for you, learn to recognize it and make time for it – so often people say they want something and when it shows up they’re too busy to recognize or accept it
   
6. Allow yourself to have free time – schedule free time if you have to, it’s okay to have appointments with yourself on your calendar
7. Allow others to help you – let go of the belief that you have to do everything yourself
8. Make time for re-energizing yourself, you cannot give when you are empty
9. Continually re-assess what is important to you, and refuse to put your energy into anything that doesn’t feel good to you – this makes it a lot easier to say no to things that aren’t a good fit

Many people will feel this is selfish. They say “but what about all the people who need me?” One of the wonderful things you’ll learn as you take these steps to release overwhelm from your life is that you’re able to show up in a much healthier way for those people who do really need you. Many people say they need you, but that’s just so they can use you, or pass their dramas onto you – you’ll stop attracting those people.

Would you rather spend time with someone who is relaxed and healthy and a joy to be around or with someone who is constantly frantic because they have too much to do and probably don’t have time to spend with you anyway? People want and deserve the best version of you.

Releasing overwhelm results in a healthier, happier you. Everyone benefits from this.

Action Step: Identify 3 things you are putting your energy into right now that are not a good fit for you, that are exhausting you. Make a decision to let these things go and start putting more energy into what is important to YOU.

Let this affirmation support you on your journey:

I am now willing to release all feelings of overwhelm, to make my energy and well-being my highest priority and to only put energy into things that serve my highest good.

Be Unstoppable.

Linda
P.S. If you're feeling overwhelmed at work right now, join me for a free webinar where I'll share my step-by-step formula for transforming your experience at work. 3 'Dream Job' webinar dates to choose from:

Thursday, April 4th at 6pm Pacific
Saturday, April 6th at 9am Pacific
Tuesday, April 9th at 6:30pm Pacific

Let me know which date you'd like and I'll send you the information you'll need to join.

Let Your Light Shine…  When you talk to someone who is passionate about what they do they come alive. It’s like they shine from within. I remember sitting down with a particular financial advisor a few years ago who demonstrated this. As he was talking to me he was so alive and vibrant, his enthusiasm was so infectious that even I became excited about the numbers he was sharing (a first for me!) This is someone who is truly living his passion.

Whether you are working for yourself or for someone else, there can be many things that affect your ability to shine as brightly as you want to, such as:

• Not knowing what it is that really lights you up
  
• Feeling pulled in many different directions
• Having to work to other people’s agendas rather than your own
• Inner beliefs and insecurities that hold you back
  
• Other people’s insecurities and demands
• Having to do something to make money, rather than what you really want to do

I think most people want their work to be stimulating and meaningful, with opportunities for growth. They want to know that they are doing something worthwhile that is making a difference. They want to feel valued and appreciated. For those of us who are highly sensitive, this is particularly important, since we receive more sensory input and experience everything at a very deep level – we have a need to put all of that energy into something that feels good and is important to us.

When you are connected with your inner light in this way you are in what author, Gay Hendricks, calls your Zone of Genius. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all be in our Zone of Genius more of the time?

Action Step: What it is that really lights you up? What is your Zone of Genius? What would it take for you to connect with it and really allow yourself to shine and be successful? Read the P.S. at the end of today’s tip for a way to explore this further.

As social and digital media strategist, Karen Civil says: “Don’t let the insecurities of others dull your sparkle. Shine like the star you are born to be.”

Let this affirmation support you on your journey:

I’m ready to fully let my light shine and to embrace my Zone of Genius.  

Be Unstoppable

Linda

When you take on other people’s energy… I experienced a situation over the weekend where, after attending a couple of events, I realized that by the time I arrived home on Sunday afternoon I didn’t feel very good. I was feeling great when the weekend started, so what happened?

First, I identified the uncomfortable emotions I was feeling and wrote about them to see where they were coming from and what had been triggered. But I couldn’t seem to pinpoint it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t able to let it go.

Then it hit me – what if this wasn’t mine at all? What if I had taken on someone else’s energy and emotions? If you are a ‘helper’ personality or an empath it’s easy for this to happen. Once I had this thought I decided that if it wasn’t mine, then I wanted to return the energy to where it came from. Within just a few minutes I felt better.

It can be difficult enough to work through your own energy, emotions and old beliefs, and it’s impossible to work through someone else’s. So it’s important to learn to recognize when the discomfort you’re feeling is yours and when it’s from someone/somewhere else.

This can happen with our loved ones, when we would gladly take on their pain if it helps them feel better.

What we don’t always realize is that other people (even people we don’t know) can project their painful emotions onto us, and if we’re open and receptive enough, we can unknowingly take them on.

You can never help anyone else by taking away their painful emotions. You can help and support them through it, but you can’t take it away – this is a lesson I have learned the hard way. So any time you recognize that you’ve taken something like this on and made it yours, it’s important to let it go.

Any time I experience a difficult or painful emotion I work through it until I feel better, so whenever I am not able to work through something I realize that it’s not mine. This is a really helpful lesson to learn.

Action Step: Identify any discomfort or painful emotions you may be feeling that you have not been able to resolve. Ask yourself if you might have taken this on from someone else, and make the decision that you’d like to return it to where it came from. Notice if you start to feel better.

Let this affirmation support you on your journey:

I release the need to take on other people’s problems. I respect and love myself enough to recognize when something doesn’t serve me and I willingly let it go.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Your 10 year old self… I read a question recently which made me pause and think. I do love questions that make me think, so I thought I’d ask the question of you – and add another of my own because I think it may bring up some interesting thoughts and emotions for you.

The question I read was:

Would your 10 year old self be proud of you now?

My answer to that question would be undoubtedly yes. Which then led me to ask:

What would your 10 year old self think of you and say to you now?

I have to say that I don’t remember much about my 10 year old self, but I do know how insecure I felt at that time, with such low self-esteem and confidence, that I think she would be completely blown away by how much I’ve changed and how different I am from that fearful little girl who carried the burden of so much fear, guilt and shame.

It’s a great reminder of how far I’ve come, so really good validation for me. But what if your 10 year old self would somehow be disappointed with where you are now? Well, that tells you that this is a good time to stop, and take a good look at what needs to change – it’s never too late to become the person you really want to be! Awareness is the first step.

Action Step: Write out your answers to the questions above. You might even find it helpful to write a letter to your 10 year old self, and/or for her to write a letter to you. Then ask yourself what you can do with this information. How can it help you?

Let this affirmation support you on your journey:

Every day I develop greater and deeper levels of self-awareness. I use my past experiences to become stronger and wiser. Every day I understand and appreciate myself more.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

P.S. For all my friends and colleagues in Idaho - I invite you to join me at the Reinvention Convention, in beautiful Eagle, Idaho, April 26-27. I’ll be one of the speakers at the event and you qualify for special pricing just because you know me (how great is that?) Here’s the link to find out more: http://www.idahowomenbusinessowners.com/ Apply the coupon code: iwbo when you check out before the end of March, and you’ll receive your ticket for just $97.