Know when to withdraw your energy – You know what it’s like when you’re trying to explain something to someone and they refuse to believe you? Or when you want to help someone feel better, but they reject every suggestion you make? Really, any situation where you feel like you’re hitting your head against a brick wall and the harder you try to make the other person (or people) understand, the worse it gets?

I had a situation once where a person accused me of doing something that I did not do – in fact I would not do, but they told everyone that I did. The more I tried to explain to anyone that I didn’t in fact do what I was being accused of, the worse the situation became.

These are all situations where the best thing you can do is to withdraw your energy. This isn’t giving up, not at all. Rather it’s a recognition that you are wasting your energy in a futile attempt to make others understand something. The more energy you put into it, the more you feed their position. They become more entrenched and you become more depleted.

It can be really hard to withdraw energy like this, but in my situation I recognized that it was the only thing I could do. Once I did, the whole thing went away.

Another time I realized that I was putting a lot of energy into trying to help someone, who was complaining to me about a situation. I realized that she really didn’t want to be helped, she just wanted to complain. So I withdrew my energy, just listened and didn’t let myself get hooked into a discussion about her complaint. Once she realized I wasn’t going to get hooked, she moved onto something else.

You can easily become depleted by investing energy into something (or someone) that’s not going to change. The trick is to recognize it and know when to withdraw energy. You don’t necessarily have to withdraw yourself, only your energy.

Action Step: Think of a situation or a person that’s frustrating you right now. Consider withdrawing your energy (which includes your thoughts about it) and focusing on something else instead. Notice how you feel and how the situation changes as a result.

The following affirmation will help:

I release the need to invest my energy in people, things and situations that don’t serve me.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Inspiration or Motivation? We hear a lot about being motivated and how to motivate ourselves to do something, but what if that’s not as helpful as we think it is?

I saw this quote from Esther Hicks/Abraham recently and it got me thinking and realizing that I’d rather be inspired than motivated – what do you think?

“Inspiration comes forth from within. It’s what the light burning within you is about, as opposed to motivation, which is doing it because if you don’t do it, there will be negative repercussions. Motivation is making myself do something that I don’t really want to do. Inspiration is having the clear picture of what I am wanting — and letting Universal forces come into play to get the outcome.”

Action Step: Make a list of what inspires you. What lights you up from within? Get a clear picture of what that is – create a vision board if it helps. Ask yourself how you can bring more of what inspires you into your daily life.

You can use this affirmation as well:

I give myself permission to do more of what inspires me.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. Speaking of being inspired - do you feel inspired at work or do you feel stressed, overwhelmed and frustrated? Many people have a tough time at work and it's difficult to feel inspired when you have to go every day to a job that you don't enjoy - this is particularly true for those who are highly sensitive. I created a Guide with 7 Tips to Survive and Thrive at Work. I wrote it for HSP's, but the strategies are applicable to everybody. You can download a copy for free - just click on the button below to get your copy.

Your best year… I’ve been reading Debbie Ford’s book – The Best Year of Your Life, which is why I chose this as the topic for today’s Unstoppable Energy Tip.

I’ve noticed a significant energy shift for me as I’ve started thinking about this, so let me share some questions for you to consider:

• If this were to be the best year of your life, what would that look like?
  
• What would it feel like?
• What would be happening for it to be the best year?
• What experiences would you be having?
  

This isn’t to say that nothing bad will ever happen, because that’s unrealistic. But often we find that in order to really make progress, we need to be removed from certain situations, which is why we might lose the job, or end the relationship – because they weren’t serving us.

Action Step: As you think about, and perhaps even write about, these questions, notice what comes up for you. Notice how you feel. Allow yourself to have some fun with it and pay attention to any energy shifts.

This affirmation may help you:

“I am willing to allow myself to experience the best year ever, the best of myself and the best of everything life has to offer.”

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

When you need to confront someone: I think most people dislike confrontation. If you’re an HSP and/or an introvert, you probably try to avoid it altogether. But sometimes it’s inevitable that you have to set a boundary with somebody, stand up for yourself, or just respond to someone in an assertive way so they don’t take advantage of you.

This came up a couple of times this week, so I thought it would make a good tip.

When you find yourself in the position of having to confront someone, here are some steps you can take that will help you achieve a positive outcome:

1. Deal with the emotion – often, when we make the decision that we need to confront someone, it’s because we’re upset. The person has said or done something that doesn’t feel good or right and we want to let them know. It’s most helpful though if you deal with the emotion before you have the conversation with them. Whenever you go into such a conversation carrying a lot of emotion, the other person tends to immediately become defensive, and that’s when confrontation can become uncomfortable, or even nasty.
   
   Instead, identify the emotion that this person/situation has triggered in you. Are you feeling angry, sad, misunderstood, ignored? Identify what you’re feeling and then write about it. Ask yourself where this is really coming from, where has it happened in the past? Usually you’ll find that what you’re feeling relates to something that happened in your past, perhaps when you were a child. Often it’s a recurring theme in your life and it actually has nothing to do with the person or situation that just triggered it.
   
   You’ll know when you’ve worked through the emotion and let it go when you feel calmer. If you write about it and still feel intense emotion, it can be helpful to talk to someone who is a good listener. Ask them to just listen, rather than trying to offer advice. They may ask you some questions to help clarify what you feel. Often, talking something through is enough to make the shift. The point is that you don’t want to go into the conversation/confrontation with someone until you have released this emotion.
   
   
2. Stick to the facts – This should be a lot easier to do once you’ve let go of the emotion. Sticking to the facts makes the situation easier to address. You can say “this happened, which led to this and it affected me this way.” Often, you’ll find that the other person had no idea their words or actions had affected you in the way they did.
   
   
3. Know what you want – Be clear on what you would like the outcome to be. What would feel good to you? What would be the ideal resolution to this issue? Again, when you stick to facts, it makes it much easier to arrive at a mutual agreement.
   

There’s no need to be so afraid of confrontation when you take this approach. The worst thing about it is how you feel, and if you deal with that up-front, and work through the emotion, arriving at a place of calmness and clarity, you’ll be able to handle any conversation much more easily.

Of course, there are some people (like narcissists and bullies) with whom there can be no peaceful resolution. They are attached to being right and they don’t really care if they upset you or anyone else. Even so, if you have to deal with this type of person the first and most important thing to do is to deal with your emotion until you feel better. These types of people feed of the painful energy and emotions of other people, and if you remove that, then there’s nothing in it for them.

Action Step: Think of a person or situation that is upsetting to you right now. Identify and work through the emotions that are being triggered until you feel better. Then think about how you would ideally like to resolve the issue.

This affirmation will help:

I have the power to resolve any conflict in a positive way, for the highest good of everyone involved.

Be unstoppable!

When facing a difficult choice: Sometimes it’s difficult to know what to do for the best. You want to trust yourself to make the right decision, but you don’t always know what that is.

I saw a post on Facebook recently from Reflections of an HSP/Introvert that I’m inspired to share because I think it can help, not only when faced with a difficult situation, but can help when faced with making any decision.

The post suggested asking yourself this question:

What would someone who loves themselves do?

I know the power of asking questions, and I think this is a particularly powerful question to ask.

Many people, particularly those who are highly sensitive, tend to believe that in some way they are not good enough. That can be a very difficult belief to change. I think that regularly asking this question will help to transform that belief.

Action Step: Begin asking yourself this question and make a commitment to do it regularly over the next few months. See what changes for you.

What would someone who loves themselves do?

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

What energy are you bringing? Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor is a neuroscientist who wrote the book My Stroke of Insight, where she talked about her experience of having a stroke and what it took to recover.

The stroke affected the left side of her brain, so she couldn’t do the things we all take for granted, like speaking, or walking and remembering even her own family.

Only the right side of her brain was functioning, which meant although she didn’t know who people were, she could feel and sense their energy. She knew when someone walked in the room who was loving and caring and there to help her, or when someone wasn’t.

She made a full recovery, and her experience left her with significant insight about how everything is energy. When she was a guest on Oprah Winfrey’s show she gave Oprah a sign that says “Please take responsibility for the energy that you bring into this space.”

I love this example because it shows how our energy reflects what’s really going on with us. You might be feeling angry or sad, yet you put on a brave face when you go out and interact with people. You might hate the work that you’re doing, but you know you have to do it anyway, so you get on with it. In both cases, the energy that you’re bringing to what you do is not ideal and will impact not only you and what you’re doing, but will affect those with whom you interact.

We tend to think that our real feelings won’t show. But the energy that we have when we do something or interact with someone is real and it’s transmitting all the time.

It’s helpful to realize this because everything you do is affected by the energy you are bringing to it in that moment. When things aren’t working out in the way you want or you’re struggling with something, ask yourself what energy you are bringing to what you’re doing. In other words, how do you feel in that moment?

I use this approach all the time now. If I’m doing something and it’s not working as I want I stop and check in with my energy. If my energy is not positive, then I’ll stop what I’m doing and do what I can to improve my energy and how I feel. When I feel better, then I’ll come back to it and it always works out so much better.

Action Step: Check in with yourself right now and ask yourself what energy you are bringing to each aspect of your life. How do you feel about where you are? If anything doesn’t feel good, then you know that it would be helpful to do whatever you can to raise your energy in that particular area.

This affirmation will help:

I take responsibility for my energy and I do whatever I can to achieve the highest vibration possible.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. When you know you need to change your energy, but you're having difficulty doing it, consider a Powerful Breakthrough Session - I show you where and how to change your energy for your biggest breakthroughs.

The art of being yourself – it sounds strange to think that there should be an art to being yourself, but really there is. Because there is so much pressure on us, from all sorts of people and places, for us to be someone or something else.

You may become afraid of making mistakes because of what people will think of you. You may put your wants and desires on hold to please other people.  Perhaps you’ve been led to believe there’s something wrong with you because you are different from the majority of other people – if you’re highly sensitive and/or empathic this is highly likely.

It is no exaggeration to say that I used to have absolutely no confidence and no self-esteem. People were often telling me I was “too sensitive,” or that I thought too much, or that I should behave like others. So much so that I had to shut myself down as I was growing up, because I didn’t fit in with other people’s expectations of me.

I’ve learned a lot and come a long way since then. The most important thing I’ve learned is that not only is it okay to be myself, it’s essential. I can’t be anything or anyone else. And neither can you. You can only be you.

The problem is, when you’ve spent most of your life believing that it’s not okay to be who you really are, you may have lost touch with what that means. I think it’s time to change that. If you think so too, here is a starting point:

Action Step: Make a list of the values that are most important to you, such as: health, freedom, security, wealth, creativity, achievement, family, spirituality, honesty. Once you have a list, identify the top 5 and then ask yourself, on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being highest) how present each of these is in your life right now.

For example, if freedom is extremely important to you, how much freedom do you feel you have? Do you feel free to be yourself or are you trying to fit in with everyone else?

For anything that’s less than a 10, think about what it would take/what you could do, to increase the number even a little bit.

Use this affirmation:
I am now willing to fully embrace my uniqueness and I release the need to be who others think I should be.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda
P.S. I’m pleased to announce that registration is now open for my Master Class: The Confident and Liberated HSP: How HSPs Can Thrive Professionally and Personally, Without Compromise. Click the button below for details and registration. My gift to you is $20 off the normal registration price of $47 – use coupon code WEBINAR when you check out.

I want HSPs to feel good about themselves and for high sensitivity to be recognized for what it is - a trait – just like being an introvert or extrovert. It’s time that we stopped holding ourselves back simply because others don’t understand. If you know someone who is an HSP, make sure they attend this master class.

Reflection and Intention – if you’re interested at all in personal growth, being the best you can be, and living the best life possible, this is the perfect time for a little reflection and setting of intentions.
 
Of course, you can do this at any time, but as we come to the end of a year, our thoughts naturally turn to letting go of the past year and hoping for good things to come in the New Year. And instead of just hoping that the next year will be better, here are some strategies that will help you set yourself up for success.

• Reflect on the past year. What were the highlights? What would you like more of? What went really well and felt really good? What were the challenges? What would you like less of? What would you like to let go of?
  
  Taking time to reflect in this way helps to bring clarity so you know what you want and what you don’t. When you don’t take the time to do this it’s easy to get swept up in everybody else’s agenda and to lose sight of what it is that you really want – until you find that yet another year has gone by with no sign of positive change for you.

 

• Set a clear intention. We hear a lot about goal setting, and that certainly can be helpful, but I think that before you think about specific goals, it’s most helpful to set an intention for yourself for the upcoming year.
  
  What’s most important to you? What do you want to make a priority in your life? When you’re clear about this it helps you to say no to anything that isn’t in alignment with it. So, for example, if you have been experiencing some health challenges or some significant amounts of stress, your intention for the upcoming year might be to focus on your health and wellness and make your well-being your top priority. Once you know that, ask yourself what it would look and feel like if you did make your well-being your top priority. What would be different? What would you do differently? What (or who) would you let go of? How would you feel?
  
  Or perhaps finances have been a particular struggle and you want to focus on your financial well-being above all else. Again, what would you need to do differently? What (or who) would you need to let go of? How would you feel if you really made this your priority?

 
When you set a clear intention and keep this at the forefront of your mind, you’ll find yourself making different choices, saying no to things you previously may have said yes to (because you thought you should). You’ll find yourself letting go of certain things, projects, experiences or people because they don’t serve you or your intention. You may find yourself interacting with people in a different way as you realize how certain people may be keeping you away from what’s most important to you.
 
You might also want to create a vision board that reflects this intention – for example, if health and wellness is your focus, you would paste pictures on a poster board that show you when you felt particularly fit and healthy, of people doing things you would love to do – such as yoga, hiking, kayaking etc., If there are certain things you would do if you felt healthier and less stressed, paste pictures of people doing those things on the board. Just find pictures that reflect the intention that you’re setting.
 
Setting an intention for the year is a very powerful thing to do, and it’s also helpful to set daily intentions. Setting an intention for your day gets you off to a great start in the morning and you’ll be amazed at how good it feels.

If you are highly sensitive or an empath, this is particularly important for you – because you are so easily affected by the energy of other people and the energy around you, this will help you stay connected to yourself and release any energy that doesn’t serve you.
 
Action Step: Reflect on the year and identify the positives, the challenges and what you’d like to change. Use this to become clear on what you would most like to focus on for the upcoming year. Set your intention.
 
This affirmation will help:
As I tune into what’s most important to me and set clear intentions I allow myself to re-claim my power and connect to my true self. This benefits me and everyone around me.

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

P.S. HSPs and Empaths - Join me in January for a Master Class that will really help you have your best year ever. It's called The Confident and Liberated HSP: How Highly Sensitive Professionals Can Thrive Personally and Professionally, Without Compromise. You'll find more information and registration by clicking on the button below. Use the coupon code WEBINAR when you check out to receive $20 off (my gift to you).

Looking for the good… I attended a social event recently with a group of about 13 very exceptional women. As an ice-breaker and a way to get to know each other a little better, we were asked to share something good about the year. I was so impressed and inspired by what was said that I wanted to share the experience with you.

It was interesting that many of the good experiences the participants shared started as something painful, but transformed into something very good. Here are some examples:

• One person had lost hearing in one ear, and had been told that she was quite likely to lose the hearing in her other ear as well. I think anyone would find this news quite devastating, but instead of feeling sorry for herself, she started taking lessons in sign-language and was sharing about an encounter she’d had with 4 women who were communicating in sign language. She was able to join in their conversation and was feeling really good and excited about it.
  
  
• Another had lost a young family member this year, who left behind a wife and baby. She was sharing how not only her entire family, but also complete strangers had been rallying round to support them in many different ways. She also shared how several people had come into her life since this event who had lost a child, and how, because of the loss she’d experienced in her family, she was able to connect with them on a deep and helpful level – no coincidence that these people came to her I think.
  
  
• Another person had the experience this year of being told by her landlady that she had 60 days to move because the house was going to be sold. After the initial shock, she was able to manifest the perfect living space – much better than where she was before, and in less than the 60 days she was given.

What I found most inspiring about hearing these stories was how each of these women took what happened and looked at what they ‘could’ do, rather than what they ‘couldn’t.’ Instead of letting difficult situations define them or overwhelm them, they looked at what they could do to make things better.

It was a great reminder for me about what can be accomplished with the right attitude, and I hope it’s helpful for you. I think this is the perfect exercise to do as we come to the end of the year.

Action Step: Think about your year and, even if it was a very difficult one, see if you can identify at least one thing (hopefully more) that was/is good. Write it down and/or share it with someone – I’d love to hear it.

This quote is a great reminder:

“People have challenges. Family members get sick, people get older, you don’t always get the job or the promotion that you want. You have conflicts in your life. And really, life is about your resilience and your ability to go through your life and all of the ups and downs with a positive attitude.” – Jennifer Hyman

Be Unstoppable!

Linda

Do you ever feel that you are being controlled by your emotions? Perhaps you even experience extreme mood swings? One moment you can be so motivated, happy and feeling amazing and the next moment you feel angry, frustrated or overwhelmed. Sometimes the intensity of the emotional force you feel can be so strong that you feel powerless to do anything about it and it overtakes you, until everything in your life is negatively impacted.

We are driven daily by our emotions and they are an important influence on our physical health. When you learn how to manage your emotions, it helps you to lead healthier life. Most importantly, you can also use the difficult and painful emotions as stepping stones to propel you to greater levels of success.

What would it feel like to master your emotions so you know that no person or situation can take your power away. You can learn how to stop giving your power away to others.

For example, why is it that some people seem to get under your skin & you can’t stop thinking about what they said or what they did?  Your encounter with them goes round and round in your mind - perhaps you even run through various conversations with them in your head. Even when you want to stop, you can’t. It’s like they’ve taken up residence inside your head and it can drive you crazy.

What if you had a way to take that situation and use it to gain new insights about yourself?  You can learn to release whatever emotions have been stirred up and feel at peace with the outcome? No more conversations rolling round in your head. No more wishing you’d said this or that or wondering why this happened in the first place.

With practice you can learn to get your emotions under control quickly and move on much faster. Here are six steps that will help you do just that:

1. Name it – you’ll want to identify what has been triggered in you by the person or situation. What is the dominant emotion? For example, is it anger, disappointment, frustration or something else? As Dr. Phil says, “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.”
   
   
2. Vent – you’ll see that steps 2 and 3 are actually connected, but I like to list them as separate steps because I think it’s more effective that way. Once you’ve identified the emotion let yourself vent. It’s good to do this by writing it out, but you can also do it in your head. Think or write about exactly what happened and how you feel. We often believe that it’s not good to think ‘negative’ thoughts, and so when you feel a painful emotion you may think that you have to keep all your thoughts and feelings locked up and not let them out. Here, you have permission to let them out. When you keep them locked up, they will continue to affect you long after the situation has passed, so be as specific as you can.
   
   
3. Feel it – as you’re thinking about how you feel or writing about it, really allow yourself to feel the emotion. Notice where you feel it most in your body. Again, this may be something you’ve been afraid to do in the past because you feel that this is giving in to the emotion and if you do so you won’t be able to let it go. The opposite is actually true. It’s only by allowing yourself to go through it that you can come out on the other side of it. So put your attention on the emotion and where you feel it. Notice everything you can about it.
   
   
4. Be curious – ask yourself what this feeling/emotion is telling you. What has really been triggered? You may find that something from your past comes to mind. Or you might find that it’s a belief or fear that you had that you thought you’d already worked through. Don’t judge what comes to you as you ask this question, and don’t be harsh with yourself as you ask it. Ask with curiosity. There is always something to learn from any situation. You are experiencing it and feeling what you’re feeling for a reason. When you learn whatever you need from the situation, then you won’t need the situation any more. You’ll find it’s no longer an issue for you and you can move on.
   
   
5. Move on – ask yourself - what is one thing I can do to move forward? What is the most loving thing I can do for myself in this situation? You might feel as though you have no idea what to do about your situation. You might feel that you are powerless. But you really do have the answers you need inside you. Once you work through and release the overwhelming emotions that you’re feeling, you allow clarity to come to you. It’s then that the answers you need can come – so ask the question, take care of yourself and allow the answers to come in whatever way they can. Perhaps you’ll think of an idea, or perhaps you’ll read, or hear or see something that points the way, or perhaps someone will come into your life who can help you.
   
   
6. Raise your vibration - “Your vibration is a way of describing your overall state of being. Everything in the Universe is made up of energy vibrating at different frequencies. Even things that look solid are made of vibrational energy fields at the quantum level. This includes you.” (Cassandra Sturdy).
   
   When your vibration is low, you will not feel good, you may feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, etc., and everything will seem difficult or impossible. The worse you feel, the lower your vibration and, since we attract things of the same vibration, you will continue to attract more things to feel stressed about.
   
   So it’s important to raise your vibration, not only so you feel better, but also because doing so will bring you clarity, ideas, resources, and more things to feel good about.
   
   Most simply, you will raise your vibration any time you do or think about something that makes you feel good. For example, you might think about a loved one, or a pet and that may immediately make you feel good. You could listen to some uplifting music or go for a walk in nature. You might take a relaxing hot bath, or go for a massage or receive energy work. Focusing on things that you appreciate and are grateful for also helps to raise your vibration.

Summary
These six steps will help you take any situation and any overpowering emotion. Instead of letting it take you over, you’ll be able to use it to empower yourself and feel stronger. By squarely facing the difficult emotion or situation, you take away its power and re-claim your own. Instead of avoiding it, you face it and move through it. Once you’ve moved through it, you can focus on ways to raise your vibration by finding things to feel good about.

This is how you successfully navigate through difficult and painful emotions and become Unstoppable.

Linda
P.S. I've created a short (10 minute) video that walks you through each of these 6-steps - what I call my Emotional Relief Technique. With practice, this is something you can use any time, anywhere, to help you move through any overwhelming emotion so it doesn't continue to affect you. If you'd like to access the video, just click on the button below.