People become frustrated with themselves for their perceived lack of willpower and think they have to be harder on themselves in order to accomplish their goal. However, I’ve found that when you force yourself you are actually coming from a place of resistance and can actually strengthen the behavior that you’re trying to avoid.
You wouldn’t try to force a child to walk or learn a new behavior, so don’t try to force yourself.
I have found that taking a gentler approach is much more effective. For example, I’ve been trying for years to ‘make’ myself do yoga every day. I know it’s good for me and I know that my body feels better when I do it, and yet I became very frustrated with myself because I wasn’t doing it.
Then, instead of making myself do it because I should, I changed my approach and asked myself “what is the most loving thing I can do for myself today?” Now that I’m coming from a place of doing what’s best for me because I enjoy how I feel when I do it, I am actually doing yoga every day and have been for some time. When I tried to make myself do it, I wasn’t doing it. But with a gentler approach it’s effortless – now I really want to do it and wouldn’t want to miss it.
What are you trying to make yourself do? How could you try a gentler approach with yourself?